[Warning: this post probably won't be of interest to the general public, but only to a handful of people who know me personally. Apologies to the rest of you.]
Wow--two Internet smackdowns in one week! And my mom wonders why I'm thinking of giving up my blog.
Way back in June, I wrote a post that unintentionally offended Christopher's and my friend Jordan, to whose blog I linked in my own essay. Jordan misconstrued my link to mean that I was using her as an example of a distasteful life, when what I actually intended was to merely cite Jordan's discussion of the idea of having "margins" in one's life and, truly, thank her for spurring me to consider this idea and my own blessings. Jordan was upset about and hurt by my post, and, according to her, so were a number of other people who read my writing and then contacted her personally to discuss their mutual outrage--I guess old college friends or other mutual acquaintances of the two of us who read both of our blogs.
Jordan didn't tell me she was upset with me at the time. I only found out three days ago, when I happened to read her blog, where she discussed the whole thing. I was shocked and mortified to find out that I had unwittingly offended a friend--especially to find out in this way; Jordan knows that Christopher and I both read her blog and would surely see this post. My original post was completely misinterpreted; I in no way meant the things Jordan thought I did. (Honestly: I am SO SICK of working moms misconstruing my statements of "I am so happy to be home with my children" to mean "...and you are wrong to not be home with yours.")
I immediately wrote Jordan a sincere, profuse e-mail apology. I also posted a heartfelt public apology on her blog, with the sincerest of intentions.
Jordan has decided to delete my apology from her site. She has also chosen to leave up her Tuesday post which inaccurately puts an awful lot of ugly sentiments in my mouth. She says she deleted my apology because it was triggering all sorts of subsequent disrespectful (to me) comments on her blog, but if that were truly the case, she could have deleted the disrespectful comments and left up my apology.
I don't know why Jordan doesn't want her readers to see or know about my apology or about the fact that she misunderstood the meaning in my June essay. But I do want any of our shared readers/friends to know that I have tried in the most genuine way I know how to make things right with her. I've consulted with Christopher--who is far more level-headed than I--all week about this scenario and what to do about it. (By the way, his comment to Jordan's blog was deleted as well.) I don't like the fact that Jordan has left up her original post, which makes me look like a judgmental bitch for things I never said about her, but all I can do is continue to apologize for an honest mistake, and hope that others take the whole story into consideration when forming opinions about it.
I'm not perfect; I don't always write super-clearly and I no doubt open my yap way too much, but one thing I don't do is willfully hurt my friends. Nor do I negatively judge other mothers for choosing lifestyles that are different from mine.
Thanks, and that's all.