Several days ago I decided that a major source of my stress and anxiety is never getting enough sleep. Every morning I wake up--actually some nights I feel like I never went to sleep--with a nervous thrumming in my torso and a sort of dread about having to get up and face the day when I'm still so tired. Genevieve's nighttime sleep has improved since she went back on her acid-reflux medication, but she still has her bad nights. Also, my husband snores.
So anyway, I decided that I would experiment with forcing myself to lie down and rest during the girls' naptime, despite the fact that normally during that time I cook, clean, do laundry, return phone calls and e-mails, conduct computer tasks for my volunteer job, and write. There just aren't enough hours in the day to take one or two off in the afternoon, you know? But I vowed, even so, to try to take a breather during naptime--maybe even nap! If I can't sleep at night, maybe I can sleep during the day. Right?
Well this little plan HAS BEEN SHOT ALL TO HELL. So far this week, instead of resting, I have a.) listened to Genevieve scream for an hour at a time about not wanting to nap; b.) listened to Julia sing in her bed when she's supposed to be napping; c.) submitted an essay to a proposed anthology; d.) submitted an essay to a magazine; e.) created a writing resume for potential freelance writing jobs; f.) joined an online freelance writing job-lead service recommended by my sister, which involved creating a professional writing profile and a portfolio of sample work and posting them all online; g.) applied for two part-time online freelance writing jobs; and h.) brainstormed (unsuccessfully) ways to survive the failing economy.
I AM EXHAUSTED.