Mama in Wonderland

Want to Hear My Radio Interview?

2012-01-27T12:37:00.005-06:00

Hey, friends!

I had an awesome morning today, as the guest on "Art Zany," an arts show on my town's local radio station. Radio host and mom-of-twins Paula Granquist, whom I absolutely adore, interviewed me about my book, stay-at-home motherhood, taking better care of yourself, making friends with fellow moms, and making homemade soft pretzels with toddlers--among many, many other things.

We had a great time, and I think you'll enjoy it too.

Click here to listen to the interview (it's about 35 minutes long) to learn more about The Essential Stay-at-Home Mom Manual and to hear what my voice sounds like. Aren't you curious?

Now if Only I Could Get Out of All My Other Chores, Too.

2012-01-26T08:43:00.005-06:00

For years, my husband has been unloading the dishwasher at the end of the day when he's cleaning up after dinner, and rearranging things, one dirty dish or cup or knife at a time, until the dishwasher is reloaded to his liking. All day long, when he's at work and I'm cooking and baking and serving meals and snacks, I load the dishwasher as I go along. And then after dinner he goes in there and uses who knows what amount of precious time undoing all the loading I have done all day and redoing the whole thing. This drives me absolutely insane, because I read an article about proper dishwasher-loading once, one that referred to Martha Stewart herself for the correct instructions for dishwasher-loading, and this is the method I have been using since then.

Who is my husband to second-guess Martha Stewart, people?

So anyway, for a very long time, until just recently in fact, this undoing and redoing of my Martha-Stewart-approved dishwasher-loading every day made me CRAZY. And don't go saying something like, "You should be grateful your sweet, amazing husband loads the dishwasher or does the dishes at all!" You know very well that it would drive you crazy too.

The other day I had a brilliant thought. Which was, what am I doing loading the dishwasher all day if it just gets reloaded at the end of the day anyway? Why not just toss everything willy-nilly into the sink each time I use a plate or bowl or spoon, and let him load it just how he likes it at the end of the day? Aren't I just wasting my time putting anything in the dishwasher at all?

So I asked Christopher what he thought of this idea. He said it was fine with him. So now I don't bother with the dishwasher at all. Oh sure, the sink becomes piled high and it's hard to run water and it looks like a hoarder lives here, but that is a small price to pay for never having to take the extra effort to open the dishwasher door and place something inside it in the Martha-Stewart-approved manner, only to watch it be adjusted by someone else later on, someone who does not read magazine articles about Martha Stewart's proper way to load the dishwasher.

At first I kept washing the things that don't go in the dishwasher, like the skillets and coffeemaker carafe and the Ziplocs we wash out to use again, but after awhile I sort of lost interest. Things got buried in the sink under other things and I didn't feel like fishing out the things to wash. I'd have to hand-wash everything in order to get to the things that don't go in the dishwasher, and what good would that be? I'd be doing more work than before. So now I just sort of leave everything sitting there.

I figure I came out on top with this one. Thanks, Martha.

Where's the Booooook????

2012-01-26T06:15:00.003-06:00

OK, friends. People have been asking me daily for weeks when my book is coming out "for real." By which they mean, in a hard copy they can buy or order and then hold in their hands and turn the paper pages and all that retro old-fashioned book-reading stuff. (I'm with you, retro fans. A book is not a book unless it's on my shelf, to my mind.)

I know I told you that the Barnes & Noble NookFirst promotion ends today, and that after that, like tomorrow, you'd be able to buy The Essential Stay-at-Home Mom Manual [insert long subtitle here] as a physical, hold-in-your-hands book.

And that was true at the time.

But the publishing industry is a little unpredictable at times. Which is my gentle way of saying the book release date has been delayed just a little bit.

You can wait, right, Wonderland readers? Just a few more days?

I don't know the date yet. I will tell you THE SECOND THE BOOK IS OUT. You'll be able to order it from Amazon or BarnesandNoble.com and I really, really hope you will. Let's show those troll reviewers/haters where they can put their phony troll reviews!

Until then, if you'd like to hear what my voice sounds like, tomorrow morning at 9 a.m. CST I am going to be on a local arts radio show in my town, Art Zany, talking about the book and whatnot with super-awesome host Paula Granquist. And--yay!--it streams online, so you can go to kymnradio.net and listen to it live. (It will also be archived so you can listen later if you'd prefer.)

Happy almost-Friday! Be patient.

Crying Like a Baby.

2012-01-24T16:04:00.008-06:00

Oh, hello there.

Excuse me while I stumble around and squint at the sun and rub my eyes and ask what day it is.

I've been MIA for awhile. Oh, I've been here, at my house, writing and working and taking care of children (who were off school AGAIN yesterday, believe it or not) and cooking and running and all that. But I seem to have lost all the time in between to reading Momastery.

A couple of weeks ago someone passed around the essay Don't Carpe Diem on Facebook, and then it sort of went viral and suddenly it was everywhere: on Huffington Post, on everyone's FB Wall, in conversation at the coffee shop. Awhile later I decided I'd better investigate this Momastery blog and its author. And I've been down in the deep ever since.

I can't help it. I'm hooked. I'm completely obsessed. One incredible post leads to another and another and another and I look up and it's time to meet the school bus and I realize I just spent the entire afternoon reading Glennon. I keep following her links back to old posts and combing the archives and trying to find it all out at once: who is she, what's her story, how can she be so amazing, why does she make me cry every freaking time I read her? I'm a woman obsessed. I keep linking to her posts on Facebook and sending her posts to my husband at work and my friends while they are trying to get things done around the house. Then I demand that they tell me if they cried.

So now I've done it to you. You're welcome. I'll see you in a week or two when you come up for air.

The Last Laugh

2012-01-22T14:35:00.004-06:00

Yesterday my publisher sent me the most HILARIOUS e-mail. It was a compilation of quotes from actual Amazon reviews of some of the most wildly successful, bestselling books in existence (think: authors like J.K. Rowling, Stephen King, Terry McMillan, etc.). I was seriously howling with laughter.

For instance, this:

About How Stella Got Her Groove Back, by Terry McMillan:

"WHAT A WASTE!!! I found this book to be soooo boring...What a waste of my time. The run-on sentences make the book very hard going, but the worst part was the people."

Or, how about this? About Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, by J.K. Rowling:

"You know what I always used to think was the worst thing in the world. Mosquito Season. It's infested with millions of biting, potentially deadly, nuisances that leave ...couple million dollars. But the least the woman could do is try..." [Note from me: what the...???]

And then there's this analysis of The Brethren, by John Grisham:

"Total garbage...made me want to vomit. The book was probably the worst piece of writing I have ever read. The story was equally terrible. I can not believe it was published."

And this, about Riptide, by Catherine Coulter:

"Worst book ever...this may be the worst book ever written! The characters, story line, and dialogue were terrible and extremely unbelievable. Don't bother picking this up. It stinks!"

OMG, I can't stop, you have to read this one, about The Notebook, by Nicholas Sparks:

"Yuck!...I hated this book. I consider it to be one of the worst that I've ever read, and I've read a lot of bad books..."

*********

DYING! That "I've read a lot of bad books" line? Oh my. I was wiping my eyes. And this is just a tiny selection. You all, this went on and on and on, each one more hilarious than the last, considering that these books sold millions of copies and made millions of dollars. My publisher's point: Regarding my crazy troll reviews, I am in good company, yo. And also? Crazy troll reviews do not negatively affect book sales. If they did, the most famous authors in the world would have gone broke by now.

In other news, I'm going to say this in a whisper, just in case crowing about it too loudly would evoke the wrath of the universe and cause an unseen presence to strike down my hubris by immediately giving me lice, but I'm pretty sure we escaped the lice. Really! I mean, this is nothing short of a miracle. Someone up there loves me, and it's not my troll reviewers. (By the way: in a choice between lice and troll reviews? Would totally take troll reviews. Bring 'em on. No problem with them whatsoever.)

And now I have to go, because although I have lots more I could talk about, I am hosting a party tonight at my house and have just a few wee preparations to take care of.

Carry on, fellow warriors!

Let's Talk About Online Bullying

2012-01-20T16:05:00.004-06:00

One day at school not long ago, my seven-year-old daughter told some people that her "mommy is being bullied on the computer."

My daughter is in the second grade. She goes to an elementary school with a strict no-bullying policy, a place where respect for others, kindness, and the use of appropriate words are discussed on a regular basis and are part of the school's mission statement and motto. Calling names is not acceptable at her school. Spreading malicious lies about others is not acceptable. Speaking in a hateful or derogatory tone, denigrating others' work, and impugning someone else's character is not acceptable. In fact, all these things are bullying behavior.

The adults at my daughters' school present these rules to the children there; they provide a guidebook for behavior, they post signs in the halls, they have discussions in the classrooms about the unacceptability of all the things that fall under the heading of "bullying." My daughter and her schoolmates look up to the adults they know as examples for how to behave with respect for each other in this world.

Imagine how confusing and upsetting it is for her to know that, in the mysterious world of "grown-ups on the computer," her writer mama is being bullied. What must little kids think of such a thing?

So, online bullying, right? Wow. What in the world?

A long time ago I thought it might be a good idea to write a book for moms who had decided to be at-home moms, discussing our common joys and struggles, and providing professional insight into ways we can all manage stress, our crazy moods, and life-work-family obligations, a little bit better. I'm a psychologist, see, so I've helped plenty of clients over the years tackle those very issues. And I'm a mom, so I totally get what you're saying when you say that yes you love your kids more than life itself, but yes you also sometimes count down the minutes until naptime or bed.

I wasn't interested in comparing at-home moms to working moms to see who's better. What kind of a question is that? It's ridiculous. I wasn't interested in "the mommy wars" (even though other people sometimes seemed intent on dragging me into their own private battles). All I knew was that I loved being a stay-at-home mom but sometimes hated parts of it, I was human and imperfect and certainly no supermom, and my favorite, most admired and adored people in the whole world included both moms who stayed home like me, and moms who rocked the professional-working-mom gig like nobody's business.

I wrote the book for the at-home moms I knew (and the ones I don't know). I combined personal experience, self-deprecating humor, and real clinical strategies for being healthy and happy. I thought it was pretty much the most uncontroversial material anyone could write.

And then my publisher and I titled it The Essential Stay-at-Home Mom Manual: How to Have a Wondrous Life Amidst Kids and Chaos, and certain nameless faceless individuals out there in the ether apparently got really, REALLY offended. And started sending me bullying anonymous blog comments. And leaving slanderous, bullying "reviews."

Why do we do this, people? What drives someone to anonymously bully a stranger on the Internet? What's going on inside a person, when he or she does that? It's an interesting topic, to a clinical psychologist like me, and to many others, too.

Maybe by now you've read Meghan Daum's recent essay on modern-day hater "commenting culture." (And if not, you really should; it's fascinating.) She really goes deep into exploring this relatively new phenomenon, where anyone, anywhere, can say anything--whether they're educated about the topic or not, whether they're raving lunatic bullies or not--and there it is, published online, with a life of its own. You see, back in the day, the only people who reviewed books, and published those words of review, were....get this...book reviewers. You know, educated literary professionals who had read the book and provided thoughtful analysis about its strengths and weaknesses? Rather than random anonymous bullies calling the writer a phony, eating-disordered plagiarist? Hmmm. That latter situation sounds an awful lot like slander, to me. I'm really glad that commenters' IP addresses are recorded for all posterity and available for investigation when such comments are posted.

So, what do we tell our children, when adults--ADULTS!--engage in bullying behavior "on the computer"? How do we explain why a grown-up would do such a crazy, unreasonable thing?

You tell me. Because I've got a seven-year-old waiting for an answer.

This photo is from over a year ago. But I just thought it was super cute.

Easy Winter Craft for Kids: Cornstarch-Clay Sculptures

2012-01-20T05:34:00.006-06:00

So, on Monday my children were home from school for the MLK Day holiday. I had high hopes for a lovely, lazy morning in our pj's, with me drinking coffee laced with plenty of cream, and my daughters harmoniously playing dollhouse together, like a scene from a Pottery Barn Kids magazine. Only with shabbier furniture.

Unfortunately, my daughters' idea of a proper morning off school involved moping around, refusing any activity suggestion I offered, and bickering with each other. By 11, I could tell that if emergency intervention didn't occur FAST, the entire day was in danger of going off the rails.

To the rescue: a book of winter craft ideas for kids that I found in the Target dollar section a few weeks ago. Holla! (This book is by Family Fun magazine; it's called Wintertime Fun: Warm and Cozy Treats and Crafts, and it cost $2.50 at Target. (Once again: not a dollar.) I can't find it listed anywhere online but IT. IS. AWESOME. Get thee to Target immediately to see if you can still find it.)

I used up every grain of salt I had left in the house to make this recipe, but it was well worth it.

Here's the recipe, courtesy of Disney's Family Fun magazine. You should still buy the book if you can, though, because it has many more craft and recipe ideas in it for keeping kids busy on a cold winter day.

Cornstarch-Clay Sculptures
(Feel free to double this recipe for more kids/more clay)

Ingredients:
2/3 cup salt
1/3 cup baking soda
1/2 cornstarch
decorative hardware

1. In a small saucepan, mix the salt and baking soda with 1/3 cup water and bring to a boil.

2. In a small bowl, combine cornstarch and 1/4 cup water and stir well.

3. When salt mixture boils, remove from heat and add cornstarch mixture. Stir for a few minutes until it thickens into clay. (This took a long time for me, and I had to put the pot back on the heat for a few seconds to get it to thicken. Experiment, but watch closely.)

4. Give each child a lump of clay to shape into little snowmen, animals, etc.

5. Let the children decorate their clay creatures with various embellishments, using items you have around the house. I put out a mini-muffin tin and filled the cups with sequins, googly eyes, screws, nuts, washers, tiny foam circles from some long-ago craft, and pushpins. Use whatever you have lying around!

6. Place sculptures on wax paper to dry overnight.

How Can Busy Moms Stick With an Exercise Plan?

2012-01-18T06:12:00.006-06:00

Since it's mid-January, it's safe to assume that many people have already fallen off the New Year's resolutions wagon. Statistics show that most of us slip up and abandon our efforts by February--and often much sooner.

I didn't make any resolutions this year, but I have my behavioral weak spots just like anyone else. As I've illustrated on this blog many times, a doctorate in clinical psychology, a specialty in women's health, and experience helping others reach their health and life goals does not make one immune to bad habits or the occasional willpower deficit.

However, one thing I don't struggle with at all is exercise. I mean, sure--there are days I have to talk myself into working out. Maybe it's 90 degrees outside, or five degrees, or the wind is gusting to 40 mph. (Most of my willpower failure stems from weather. That's what happens when you live in Northern Plains territory. We have WEATHER.) But in general, being active brings me joy. (When I'm not waylaid by running injuries, that is.)

But I know that many (most?) people find it extreeeeemely challenging to muster the motivation to work out regularly. So I thought I'd share some of the tricks that work for me and keep me feeling happy about exercising. These may not all resonate with you, but perhaps one or two will be the difference, some day, between a completed workout and an evening on the couch.

Don't think, just go. Does anyone else recall that years-ago Nike ad that showed a photo of an office cubicle and a desktop computer adorned with a note that said, "Gone running. Back in half an hour"? The ad copy said something like, "If you'd gone running when you first started thinking that you should, you'd be back by now." You can talk yourself out of anything. So don't give your brain the chance.

Use your tunes. Not everyone is into listening to music while exercising, I know. But my iPod is very often the thing that gets me out the door. An hour to be by myself and peacefully listen to my own tunes? Yes, please. Plus, music can be very motivating mid-workout. Certain songs can keep me running--I swear, even increase my energy and muscle power--when otherwise I'd probably stop.

Relatedly, give yourself a new tune or two. When I've heard my playlist a thousand times, one new MP3 download makes a huge difference. If you've heard a great new song somewhere, track it down and spring for it. It'll be waiting on your iPod the next time you're slated for a walk or run.

Buy some new workout clothes. Only if you can afford them, of course. It might sound odd, but cute, new workout gear really is motivating.

Plan a post-workout reward. I'm often guilty of choosing a bowl of ice cream or slice of cake as my after-run treat, and you know what? That's perfectly fine if you're not trying to lose weight or address some nutrition-related health issue. But if dessert would undo all the progress you just made by working out, choose something else. Before you head out for a run or fire up that at-home workout DVD, tell yourself that when you're done, a hot bath, fat novel, new nail polish color on your toes, favorite DVR'd TV show, Netflix movie, or whatever else floats your boat, will be waiting for you when you're done.

Start thinking of your workout time as a luxurious chunk of alone-time. I talk about this one in the fitness chapter of my book. As moms, most of us are in serious me-time debt. So, when you can get to the gym or out the door by yourself in the evening or on the weekend (or any other time you have alternate childcare), consider that time a valuable commodity. Before Genevieve started half-day kindergarten, my runs were typically the only me-time I got in a given week; even now, the three-hour chunks of kid-free weekday afternoons, though solitary, are usually packed with endeavors that support my household--errands, cooking, grocery shopping, cleaning, laundry, meal planning, freelance writing. When I head out the door at 5:30 p.m. for my evening run, I'm doing something solely for me, and I view it as a well-deserved break from the happy chaos of family life. That hour of peace and quiet is priceless!

Let me know if you try any of these motivational tricks, and how they work for you. Even better, if you have any of your own, fill me in! Busy moms can never have too many tools in our fitness-motivation arsenals.

Oh, and remember--it's not too late to re-make your New Year's resolutions. Resolutions don't have to be tied to January 1st--you can make them, or start over with them, any day. Maybe even today.

My Book is on Healthy Tipping Point! Awesome.

2012-01-18T06:04:00.004-06:00

Hey, you guys! Caitlin Boyle, of Operation Beautiful and Healthy Tipping Point fame, mentioned my book on her site yesterday! Check out the third photo down.

Thanks, Caitlin! I'm honored. (Truly, I read HTP every day. Caitlin writes an awesome blog, people! You should check it out.)

MLK Day

2012-01-17T06:02:00.005-06:00

What's in Your Closet, Mamas?

2012-01-16T07:22:00.003-06:00

So, I don't have a lot of "dressy" clothes. I haven't worked outside my home full-time for 7-1/2 years (nor part-time for 5-1/2 years), and let's just say that, as a full-time stay-at-home mom, I'm not going to a lot of places that require dressing up.

During the day I'm consumed with child-wrangling and bus stop runs and laundry and errands and playdates and park meet-ups and baking bread with small children. Squeeze a little writing in there and that's pretty much my day. During the evenings, I run, and after that I'm so tired from my day that the only thing I'm changing into is my pajamas. I'm certainly not dressing up to go anywhere nice.

Whether that's fairly typical for a stay-at-home mom or terribly sad, I don't know, but my version of looking nice involves a basic uniform of a solid-colored or sailor-striped tee, skinny jeans tucked into boots, and a bright scarf--plus my Ellington bag and a trench or wool jacket if I'm going out. During the warmer months, I swap the jeans for skirts and sundresses, and the boots for sandals or ballet flats. All well and good, but certainly nothing too dressed up, and nothing I can't throw into the washer without a second thought.

So I'm doing pretty well in the "mom style basics" department, but there's one thing I'm missing, something discussed on Facebook recently. You didn't know that if you comment on Susan's Working Closet Facebook page, you risk getting a style column written about you, did you? Well, now you know.

Let me know what your version of "looking nice" entails, then click over to Susan's column to see what I need to add to my closet. Maybe you do too?

Because Life Had Been Too Boring Lately.

2012-01-15T07:26:00.004-06:00

My oh my, where have I been? I'm not sure you even want to know.

Mostly I've been checking for lice. Last week I helped out my dear sweet friend and neighbor, who is solo-parenting for 16 days (16 days, you all!) while her husband is away on a work trip, and who is mom to three kids ranging in age from two to eight. Terrifyingly, her middle child had a medical emergency, so I took her oldest, who plays with my daughters sometimes, to stay at our house for awhile. I met her at the school bus and fed her and kept her overnight and got her off to school the next morning. The girls had a fantastic time and thought it was the greatest adventure ever--their bus-stop buddy bedded down on the floor between their beds while they all giggled and whispered, the three of them drinking hot chocolate at breakfast the next morning.

Later that day my friend called to say she had JUST FOUND LICE ON HER DAUGHTER. You know, the child who slept in my house and whose hair I brushed into a ponytail for school--using my own hairbrush. OMG.

I can write all this because my friend already has, and she knows I'm not mad. I mean, when you're a mom, lice is sort of part of the deal. You expect it to invade your house at some point or another during the school years--it's more a "when" than an "if." Plus, my solo-parenting, sick-child-managing friend is suffering far more than I. It's just sort of ironic that lice should appear the first time--the one time!--we have another child sleep over.

We did all the usual--vacuumed the whole house, washed all the bed linens and winter hats and dress-up clothes in hot, sterilized the hairbrushes and combs, bagged up the unwashable dress-up hats and put them in the garage to stay for a week--so now it's just a matter of checking ourselves and each other daily for two weeks or so. In case you didn't know, lice eggs are almost impossible to see in blonde hair. Which my daughters and I all have. Sigh. I have a feeling it's only a matter of time until we all discover that we're infected.

In which case, I plan to go here. I'm sure they take credit cards.

Appetizing

2012-01-11T05:42:00.001-06:00

My five-year-old daughter refuses to let me throw away the gingerbread house she made in kindergarten in mid-December.

She says there are still things on it she wants to eat.

I Feel like President of the Joy Luck Club.

2012-01-10T06:13:00.007-06:00

Might you appreciate a brief update on a few things? Perhaps only if you're my mother, but that's never stopped me before, so here you go!

On Sunday afternoon when I took my daughters to swimming lessons, I ran into my sports medicine doctor. You know, the one who gave me a cortisone injection in my rear last fall? And I was able to tell him that I ran 7.5 miles the night before. He was thrilled. (So was I, not least to run into my handsome and charming sports medicine doctor! Awesome.)

The truth is, my running injury still bothers me. It's not as if it's completely resolved. Advil is my favorite running buddy. But if I'm running 7.5 miles at a time, ever, believe me--I'm thrilled too. And that's a big change from November. Every mom needs an outlet for parenting stress and an escape from the constant demands of family management, and running is mine. Everyone's a lot happier here when Mama gets her runs in, so hallelujah. I'll put up with a little pain.

In other news, it's supposed to be 52 degrees here today. You would never know it's January in Minnesota if you glanced outside.

In our backyard, over Christmas break

And, we moved the giant dollhouse from the upstairs playroom back down into the living room, where the girls prefer to be in the center of the "playing house" action.

Totally worth it, doesn't bother me at all

Finally, the stream of suspected sham reviews of my book seems to have been halted--at least for now--by my last blog post. That's nice, and I'm sure my publisher and Barnes & Noble will continue to communicate and keep an eye on things over there.

Oddly, I recently heard that a working-mom friend-of-a-friend (no one I know, no one nearby, and no one ever mentioned here) read my book and stated that it denigrates working moms. What in the world?

I want to make it crystal clear that I've never, EVER made any statements here or in my book bashing or judging working moms. You can hunt around all you want if you disagree, but you won't find that kind of sentiment, because it's not how I feel or what I think. (I suspect that my friend Rob's comment on my last post is correct about this sort of reaction.) I wrote my book specifically for stay-at-home moms, about and for the problems all stay-at-home moms I know struggle with on a daily basis. I never expected any working moms to read it. That said, there are working parents out there who have read my book, liked it, and feel it is helpful to parents of any sort. So that is truly a lovely bonus.

Life is good here. An easy winter, running again, little girls playing dollhouse, a published book generating buzz. If this isn't the exact opposite of last year's winter from hell, I don't know what is! Clearly I earned this year.

And that's my happy update.

High Road, Low Road

2012-01-07T06:38:00.004-06:00

Well, friends. I guess it's time to get off the high road.

As most of you know, my book, The Essential Stay-at-Home Mom Manual: How to Have a Wondrous Life Amidst Kids and Chaos," which was selected by Barnes & Noble for special promotion in its exclusive Nook First program, has been out since just before Christmas as an electronic book for e-readers. In just under three weeks, it comes out in paper form and then becomes available at any bookseller.

If you've been following along at home, you know that there's been quite a bit of drama over at my book's Barnes & Noble page. I've been blessed to get a ton of super-great, five-star reviews over there, which is thrilling and exciting. I'm grateful for every one. However, I'm being dogged by a troll reviewer who has been putting up hateful "reviews" for every good review that goes up, from the very first day of release.

(There are multiple reasons, most of which I will not go into here, that make it clear to me and my publisher that these are not valid negative reviews. Yes, authors get poor reviews. No, I don't expect every person to like my writing and my book. These are not typical, believable, appropriate negative reviews.)

For numerous reasons, I have a pretty good idea who is responsible, and if you know me very well and/or have been reading this blog for a long time, like before I learned to moderate comments, you probably do too.

At first these "reviews" were all posted anonymously, as fast as possible, and involved content that mainly trashed my character and made clear that the reviewer(s) had not even read the book. After those became way too suspicious-looking, the commenter(s) adopted various screen names--some totally transparent to me, some simply meaningless.

The latest one accuses me of plagiarism, so that gives you some idea of how low certain spiteful and jealous people will go when they've got nothing better to do.

Many of these comments have been flagged as abusive, off-topic, or inappropriate. My publisher and book marketing manager are in contact with Barnes & Noble regarding an investigation. But in the meantime, this person or persons is/are intent on continuing to bring down my ratings average by putting up a 1-star review for every 4- or 5-star review that goes up. (Fortunately, most potential buyers and reviewers are smart enough to notice the suspicious nature of these troll reviews, and more than one have actually mentioned it in the comments.)

If you are so inclined, and have bought my book in Nook format (also works on an iPad, your computer, or a Nook app for your smartphone) and read all or part of it and liked it, you might consider going over to Barnes & Noble and saying so in a review.

Even if you have not bought and read the book, if you are so inclined, you can go over to the Barnes & Noble page and report the harassing bogus reviews as inappropriate. You can also click "yes" in response to the question "was this review helpful?" underneath the appropriate reviews, and click "no" in response to the same question underneath the 1-star troll reviews. This pushes the bogus reviews to the bottom of the review list and pushes the valid, appropriate reviews to the top.

Yes, you have to "create an account" in order to write a review, report an inappropriate review, or click yes or no to the question (I'm pretty sure). That is a pain in the rear, I agree. But in all honesty, it takes less than a minute. I hope that will not stop you if you are leaning toward taking action against Troll Reviewer(s).

Of course, in the end, good, nice, honest, hard-working, talented people prevail in this world. We all know that. But meanwhile it would be nice if my book's ratings weren't being manipulated downward by a person or persons with serious psychological problems.

Here's the link if you're interested in helping out. Thank you, dears.

Undeck Those Halls!

2012-01-05T05:39:00.007-06:00

Sob. I miss it.

I still haven't taken down the Christmas tree. There just doesn't seem to be any time. I thought I'd get it done some weekday, but so far I've been too busy making up recipes with Genevieve (pumpkin banana bread; started out strong, ended up sinking in the middle) and creating finger puppets out of sponges (she loved it). I mean, I suppose I could do what most people probably do, and actually use my evenings to accomplish something, but I prefer to be in my pajamas by 6:30 p.m. and sit around idly window-shopping the after-Christmas sales on the Internet and moping about having gone through all five seasons of "Friday Night Lights" on DVD, the completion of which has left me bereft. (An aside: My obsession with that show over the past five years has had the unlikely and unexpected effect of leaving me with a true soft spot in my heart for both Texas and football. CRAZY.)

Then I go to bed early because "back to the usual routine" is fairly exhausting. Before you're a stay-at-home mom to school-agers (or, at least, partial school-agers), you think the daytime hours must be a gaping hole of empty time. Then when you become one you realize those hours are the same as any other job's daytime hours: filled with tasks that need to be done. The only difference is that you don't get paid for doing them.

In other news, my daughters have not played with their giant dollhouse since Christmas Day (when they spent six hours playing with it). According to them, that is because we moved it from directly in front of the fireplace (where Santa left it) in our tiny living room, upstairs to the playroom. You know, where the TOYS GO. Even though they use their playroom all the time, they tell me that they want to play dollhouse "down where YOU are, Mama." Since Santa left a hefty Visa bill in his wake which had better be worth it, I'm considering moving the dollhouse back downstairs. Because nothing says "I will strangle someone if this dollhouse does not get played with every day for the next two years because I am determined to live my personal dream of watching my daughters play with a big beautiful dollhouse, thus prolonging their childhoods as long as possible," like a giant dollhouse in a small room with no space for a dollhouse.

Hey! It could go where the Christmas tree is!

I should really get on that.

Barnes and Noble Features my Book!

2012-01-03T19:01:00.004-06:00

Yahoo! Barnes & Noble is featuring my book today on their Nook Book Store homepage. Scroll down a bit and you'll see my book as today's "Compelling Reads from Authors You Need to Know." (Totally flattering, needless to say.) If you're an e-reader owner and haven't bought it yet, wouldn't today be a great day for that? And no worries--in just a few short weeks, my book will also be available in printed form for those of you waiting for something to hold in your hands.

Oh, and hey--if you've made any kind of New Year's resolutions related to eating better, exercising more, lowering your stress level, managing your household more efficiently, parenting with greater mindfulness, or just taking better care of yourself in general, this book is for you. (It's also for anyone who just wants to read about how grim my early days of stay-at-home motherhood were, how flummoxed I can become in the lunchbox aisle at Target, and how tempted I've been to go out to the bus stop in my pajamas--or for anyone who just wants a long list of ways to keep the kids entertained during a long at-home day.) Because it's got all that.

Thanks for listening--and reading--, my dears.

New Year's Bread

2012-01-03T05:40:00.002-06:00

My seven-year-old got a "Little House on the Prairie" crafts and activities book for Christmas. It is the perfect present for her. She's obsessed with Laura Ingalls Wilder (she's read all the books), she dressed up as a "pioneer girl" for Halloween, and her favorite outdoor game is to pretend that she, her sister, and their neighbor friend are members of the Ingalls family, fighting grasshopper plagues and listening to coyotes and trying to save the wheat. Plus she's super artistic and crafty.

Within a few days of Christmas, she'd already (with just a little help) made the special folded "party napkins" (which we used at dinner), the "flower oranges" (which we ate for lunch), and the "button lamps" (for decorative purposes only; not to light afire to provide a few moments of light during a kerosene shortage, thank goodness).

She begged to make "Laura's Golden Wheat-Sheaf Bread." I promised her--on New Year's Day. When we had nothing else going on, and after I'd gone to the store the day before to buy shortening and bread flour. I'd never made homemade yeast-bread before, and I knew it was time-consuming.

We had three false starts with proofing the yeast--note to the book's author: add sugar to the yeast-proofing step, otherwise the yeast will never proof--and there may have been some swearing under my breath, but, eventually, we made the Laura Ingalls bread.

I don't know if it looks like a sheaf of wheat, but my daughter was very proud.

Me too, actually.

Baking bread (for the first time!) seems like a really good way to start off a new year, doesn't it?

Talking 'Bout a Revolution

2012-01-02T07:02:00.005-06:00

Last night my daughters learned about New Year's resolutions. They got very excited about the whole concept--which was really refreshing, honestly, because what adult do you know gets truly enthused about the idea of, say, eating more vegetables or exercising every day?--and decided to make some of their own.

Genevieve kept calling them "revolutions." And, since hers involved things like not yelling at her sister so much, I guess that mispronunciation was actually quite appropriate. It would be a revolution, in this house, if someone could get the girls to stop screaming at each other over such important things as who is hogging the stepstool and who won't stop talking in her bed at night when the other is tired and wants to go to sleep.

I have to say, Genevieve's little list and her little voice talking about her list with such earnest sincerity and effort were a bit heartbreaking. She's such a tough little nut to crack, so quiet and compliant in public and so downright mean at home sometimes--the hitter, the pusher, the screamer-in-your-face, and apology-refuser. Whereas Julia is always thinking about how others feel, Genevieve's reflex is to knock you down and not care a bit.

But then here was Vivi, making her "revolutions:" My first one is to be nicer! Like, not be so mean to everyone, and if I push someone, not just run away, but say, 'I'm sorry!' And then she added others, about compromising more and not screaming at the top of her lungs when she's mad. When she scrambled up on my bed to show me her list and read them aloud, she was so genuinely excited and proud. It made me realize that she really does care, when she's mean and nasty to the rest of us. She really does want to be "nicer." Poor little sweets. She wishes her first reaction wasn't to scream at people and hit them, too.

And then there was the resolution to be a better role model. I'm not sure where this one came from, but her example was that, for instance, if she was at school and children were arguing over the toy area, she would suggest that they take turns or compromise. But the best part was how she thought role model was "rule model." She wants to be a good "rule model" in 2012. You know: suggest sharing toys in the play area at school and all that.

A rule model! Of course.

May we all be good rule models in the new year.

How to Give Up Gummy Bears Without Making Yourself Miserable

2011-12-31T15:27:00.005-06:00

No, seriously, do not vow to completely give up cupcakes for the rest of your life.

You already know that I'm not making any New Year's resolutions this year. But maybe you're making some. They're irresistible sometimes; most of us love the idea of a clean slate, a fresh start. And yet--falling off the wagon is so common, and so disappointing. So....how can you maximize your chances of success this year, even as a busy mom with a lot of responsibilities and direct access to Goldfish crackers and gummy bears?

Back when I operated my psychotherapy practice, I spent my days helping clients with behavior change. Whether it was becoming more active to fight depression, resisting the urge to binge and purge during treatment for bulimia, or facing a feared object to overcome a phobia, my clients' issues ultimately boiled down to changing their behavior. Making new choices. Living differently. And there were certain principles I used with those clients, designed to encourage success.

If you're making any resolutions this year, try thinking about these ideas. This could be your most successful year yet! You're stronger than those gummy bears.

First, drop the word "resolutions," with all its loaded, can't-do-it associations, and replace it with "decisions." Decisions can be made any day, not just on New Year's, and can always be changed from "bad" to "good." Made a poor decision and ate six Oreos in spite of your weight-loss goal? Make a better one the very next moment by resisting the urge to continue down the path to sugar-overload and, instead, going for a walk or drinking a giant glass of water.

Pick one at a time. On January 1, it can be exciting and tempting to rehaul your entire existence and tackle every bad habit you have. You're motivated! You're fired up! But I guarantee that if you vow to improve ten--or even five--areas of your life all at once, you'll fall off the wagon. You're not a robot! Choose one behavior you want to change and work on that. When you've reached, or at least made substantial progress on, that goal, take on a new one.

Baby steps, people. No, your pro-health decision should not be "lose 20 lbs. by Valentine's Day" or "Swear off all junk food, forever and ever." Most of us find giant leaps much harder than small steps followed by more small steps. Break down your goal into segments, like "Lose 1 lb. this week" or even "Walk 10 minutes today," with the plan to add on as soon as you've accomplished the first part. Maybe "No more junk food, ever," should be: "This week, limit treats to one per day." I know that for me, one treat per day would be an improvement.

Rewards, rewards, rewards! You'd be amazed what you can do if you know you get a present each time you meet a portion of your goal. Every time you conquer a baby step, treat yourself to something. No, not the thing you're giving up. Something else. A lipstick? A new handbag? A celebrity gossip mag? (I'm not the only one who reads those, am I?) I am a huge fan of incentives for behavior change; presents to myself were the main reason I dropped my winter weight last spring. I'll gladly lose seven lbs. if I get to buy myself something guilt-free for every pound.

Don't let a slip become a slide. I used to repeat this one to my clients all the time. Basically, it means that, when trying to change your habits and behaviors, expect obstacles, stumbles, and mistakes. Be prepared for them. Rehearse how you'll handle them. Don't let one brownie turn into the entire pan, or one lapsed workout turn into a week of sloth. So you slipped. It doesn't have to be a headlong slide back to square one. Put it aside and move on.

All righty, mamas? Feeling good and motivated? Believe in yourself and your ability to do well. Make good decisions this year, not resolutions, and don't beat yourself up when you make a bad one by mistake.

Let me know what you've got planned, and how it goes. Most importantly, be nice to yourself and cherish another new year.

No Worries

2011-12-31T13:51:00.003-06:00

Genevieve: I'm going to sing you one of my GREAT, great songs.

Me: Oh, good! I love your songs. I'd better turn off the radio then, so I can hear it.

Genevieve: Oh, don't worry, Mama! It's going to be at the top of my lungs.

Slash Your Grocery Bill in 2012

2011-12-30T08:18:00.003-06:00

One of the ways I live frugally is by cooking and eating primarily vegetarian meals. While it's true that I have additional reasons for avoiding meat, the grocery-bill savings cannot be beat--and let's face it, these days groceries are crazy expensive.

But for those who are used to cooking and eating meat-based entrees, meatless meals can be intimidating. What do you eat instead? How do you know what to buy and cook? I recommend starting with a few easy ideas, rather than jumping immediately to lesser-known vegetarian proteins like tempeh and miso. For the simplest, and very delicious, options for money-saving, meatless cooking, read my advice at SheBudgets.com.

I Resolve to Continue Eating Sugar.

2011-12-29T07:19:00.003-06:00

So, New Year's is coming. Have you been thinking about your resolutions?

I go back and forth about New Year's resolutions, but many years I have made some sort of vow or ambitious goal. Like most people, I have a relatively shabby track record with keeping my resolutions beyond, uh, the first week in January. "Eat fewer junky snacks" just doesn't hold up when I'm running 20 or more miles per week, and, come on, aren't writers supposed to drink a lot of caffeine? It's who we are. Of course I could and probably should always make those character-improving resolutions like "Give more money to charity even though my income is miniscule because there are always people who have less than I do," and "Yell less." Or, how about the health-related ones like "Meditate every day" and "Take yoga for stress relief"?

Meh.

Two years ago, my New Year's resolution was to write the book I'd been musing on for years, one chapter a month, no matter how many children I had clinging to my knees at the time or how many times my toddler woke (me) up each night.

One year ago, my New Year's resolution was to land a book deal, and get said book out into the world beyond my hard drive.

Although I have plenty of things I am determined to do in 2012--promote the hell out of this book, for one thing, and give it the best chance at doing well that I can--I don't think I'm making any formal New Year's resolutions this year. I think I've earned a year off. I'm OK with not giving up Cheetos. I don't need to exercise more or lose any weight. I floss every night without fail. I hope my normal, daily life goes well enough that, even if I don't meditate or give up caffeine (again), I can be proud of who I am and what I'm doing each day.

Are you making resolutions this year?

Stay-cation

2011-12-28T07:26:00.004-06:00

So how are you doing? Surviving the after-Christmas rush? Or the after-Christmas doldrums? In my house, the kids are on school break, and my husband took the week off from work, so we're in full "stay-cation" mode.

There's no snow, which is a huge disappointment, because usually we spend Christmas vacation doing a lot of sledding, skating, and snowman-building, punctuated by the drinking of hot chocolate. So, oddly, our stay-at-home holiday is ending up being more expensive than usual, since we're filling our days with all sorts of fun family adventures (that cost money, unlike sledding and building snowmen). That's all right, though; even when money's tight, when you're a parent, you have to believe that the memories you're making when the family goes bowling and spends $25 for one hour and that's with a coupon are sometimes simply worth the cash outlay. For the laughs alone.

Besides bowling (which was seriously awesome; our town's family-oriented bowling alley has both bumper guards AND a portable metal "ramp," on which toddlers and small children can place their ball, and which then, with a small push, automatically guides the ball down the incline into the lane with some level of velocity--making bowling far less frustrating to the youngest and tiniest among us), we've also gone to the Eagan indoor playground, had dinner at a McDonald's (trust me, this is an adventure for us), and visited Keller Farm. And today we're going on a day trip to the well-known (but as-yet unvisited by us) Lark Toys, about 90 minutes away.

Tomorrow I think we'll stay at home and just have some quiet, relaxing playdates. You know you're a mom of young children when you consider simultaneous playdates for your 7- and 5-year-olds at your own house "quiet" and "relaxing."

Have you checked out my book's Barnes & Noble Nook page, yet? Do you want to order it for your Nook, iPad, smartphone, or computer? Maybe you should do that. Then maybe go bowling. It's super fun.

Minnesota Moms Exercise in the Cold and Snow!

2011-12-28T07:15:00.004-06:00

I just started writing for Examiner.com, covering the Minnneapolis-area market and specializing in topics related to self-help, health, and fitness. For winter-exercise inspiration, check out my piece on outdoor fitness activities for the cold months. (Not that it's been very cold around here this year, or that we even have snow right now. But I assume it will come eventually.) Then go eat a few more Christmas cookies before you tackle those New Year's "must exercise more!" resolutions.

The Day After Christmas

2011-12-26T10:43:00.010-06:00

Amidst all the post-revelry cleaning, laundry, book-release-celebrating, and online shopping with Christmas money to catch the after-Christmas sales, I am not at all above posting a bunch of photos of my girls on Christmas, mainly for the grandmas.

As you can see, we do not do quality, nicely-posed, well-lit photography in this house. We do things fast and cheap, before the crying starts.

Sabine says, "Very funny. You annoy me."

Christmas Eve, ages 5 and 7

Presents are awesome.

Giant chocolate-glazed, chocolate- and almond-filled coffee
cake for breakfast on Christmas Day is awesome too.

Like I said, cake for breakfast = awesome.

Matching Barbie outfits. Enough said.
(Giant dollhouse in background. Santa got a good deal and,
with the help of Visa, fulfilled a dream of mine for my little girls.)

So there you have it. Consumerism, excess, credit card debt, giant desserts, mess, and the dressing of animals in hats--the very essence of Christmas.

And we loved every minute.

Christmas Morn

2011-12-25T12:14:00.004-06:00

Yes, I made the black-and-white chocolatey glazed coffee cake for Christmas morning breakfast. (It took--among other things--several hours, three cups of flour, three eggs, a lot of chocolate, and it burned out the motor on my cheap old puny hand mixer. Santa: Next year, I really need a Kitchen Aid.)

I may also have slipped a little leftover heavy cream into my mug of coffee. I deserved it, you all. My kids were awake at 5:40 a.m.

Yet Another Easy Holiday Craft for Kids: Soap Snowman

2011-12-25T05:25:00.000-06:00

Awww, aren't they cute?

Well, fellow parents, Christmas vacation is upon us. Or winter break, or holiday break, or whatever you call it in your school district. It all means the same thing: the kids are home for a long, long time.

I happen to love Christmas vacation, but I know it's also rife with opportunity for much fussing, sibling bickering, whining, sleep-deprivation-fueled meltdowns, and wails of, "What should I doooooo?" So in the interest of burning some daylight hours, here's another sweet holiday craft that can decorate your table all winter, if you are so inclined.

This craft is from a book called Angelina Ballerina's Christmas Crafts, which is adorable and which I highly recommend, if only for the included stickers and gift tags. No, not really! Don't buy it just for the gift tags. After all, it's a little late for those, isn't it? No, no, buy the book because it's cute, sweet, has great illustrations, and is chock-full of cute crafts, many of which transcend Christmas (so you can still use the book in January), and some of which you will actually want to do. (ha!)

Here are my paraphrased instructions:

Soap Snowman

Materials needed:

Mat or newspaper to cover your work surface
Paper plates (or other plates)
1 bar of white bar soap, such as Ivory or Jergen's, for each child making a snowman
Small bowl of water; spoons
Small twigs
Peppercorns, baking decorations, or anything else you can think of for eyes and mouth
Ribbon

Method:

Over a plate, grate the bar of soap until you have a nice pile of snow-like flakes (ADULT'S JOB ONLY). With SMALL spoonfuls of water as needed, form the grated soap into three balls to form the snowman's body. Use the water to stick the three balls together, but add only a bit of water at a time so you don't end up with melted soap or bubbles.

Gently add peppercorn or baking-decor eyes and nose, small twig arms, and a ribbon scarf. Sprinkle extra grated soap around the base of the snowman, if desired.

Clearing Up a Few Things

2011-12-24T05:46:00.008-06:00

My daughter says, "Please buy my mama's book! It's good."

(Why yes, I AM fine with using my children to sell books, in fact. Aren't you?)

Thanks for all the love, you guys! Truly, the outpouring of enthusiasm, excitement, and support for my just-released book has been overwhelming. Many of you have contacted me via e-mail, Twitter, or Facebook just to share in my joy, and for that I am so grateful.

I've had a few questions, though, about this whole Nook thing. I hope I can clear a few things up here. The most important thing to know is that, YES, the book will be available in other formats, including as a "regular," paper book, from other booksellers.

You do not need to own a Nook to ever buy or read my book, nor do you even have to own an e-reader of any kind (I don't!). My book was chosen by Barnes and Noble for a special Nook promotion (thanks, B&N! it's an honor!), but that just means that for the book's first month of release only, it is available through Barnes and Noble only, and through Nook only.

If you have a Nook, awesome! But if you have an iPad, that's fine too! You can read a Nook book on your iPad. You cannot, however, read a Nook book on your Kindle. But you'll be able to, eventually--in one month, in fact. And if you're a hard-core old-fashioned paper-pages book reader, like I am, do not fear! The actual, hold-in-your-hands paperback book will be for sale in one month, available everywhere.

So what I'm trying to say is, on January 26th, my book will be out in paperback form, AND as a Nook e-book, AND as an e-book for every other platform, through any bookseller you normally use to buy books. Order it online, ask for it at your favorite bookstore, whatever. January 26th, OK? I know it's hard to wait. But in the meantime you can buy the Nook book version for all the moms you know who own Nooks or iPads or Nook apps on their smartphones, and ask them to review it on the B&N site (especially if they have loads of wonderful things to say).

Is that better? Makes sense now? I hope so. You all are so lovely, so sincerely excited for me and excited to read the book--you're the best.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to each and every one of you. You have blessed my life this year!

It's a No-Brainer.

2011-12-23T06:49:00.002-06:00

How can I not make this for Christmas morning? Do you see what the text says? ("Kids woke you at 5 a.m. to tear into the loot? Self-medicate with caffeine and our chocolatey double-glazed coffee cake.") It's like they've been in my house.

Christmas Came Early: The Book is Out!

2011-12-21T19:11:00.005-06:00

Oh my goodness, lovely readers.

Remember how I told you that I'd be making a big book-related announcement on December 26th? Well, guess what? You're getting your after-Christmas present early, because the big event actually happened TODAY.

Awhile back, my publisher informed me of the thrilling news that my book, The Essential Stay-at-Home Mom Manual: How to Have a Wondrous Life Amidst Kids and Chaos, was selected by Barnes and Noble (BARNES & NOBLE, YOU ALL!) for their "NOOK First" program. This means that, for its first month of release, the book is available in electronic-book form through Barnes and Noble only, and will be marketed and promoted heavily and exclusively through B&N. (You can also buy the e-version for other e-readers, although not the Kindle. But if you have a Kindle, you could still buy the e-book to read on your computer, or on your smartphone with a NOOK app.) After the initial month, the book will be for sale as a physical, paperback book--as well as in electronic book form--not only from Barnes and Noble but anywhere you normally buy books.

The release date was slated to be 12/26, but instead, the e-book came out today. TODAY.

My book is out today. Through BARNES AND NOBLE. Who wanted to promote it exclusively for its first month of release. OMG!

Cue lots of squealing and jumping up and down with excitement.

So, do you want to see it? Click here to go to the B&N NOOK page featuring my book. Then, please, join me in some squealing and jumping up and down.

A long time ago, I told my now-book publicist Lori Culwell that I would be happy and fulfilled if I could just write this book and give it to my daughters one day when they are grown and are moms themselves. If nothing more came of my book idea than that, I would still be satisfied. And here it is, not only finished but for sale and promoted by Barnes & Noble.

Pinching myself. Christmas, indeed.

The Book is Coming

2011-12-21T08:03:00.002-06:00

I think I need a cheerier post at the top of this blog right now. I meant to mention earlier, that there IS some good news in my house this week: it's less than one week until I get to fill you all in on the big announcement about my book! This is more than just an announcement about the new date of its release, folks, so please PLEASE check back on Monday 12/26 for the big news.

Unrelatedly, I remembered that last year at this time, I came home my daughter's Winter Sing and shoveled our patio out from under a four-foot drift of snow that had totally snowed in the door. And then the handle broke right off my shovel and I gave up. This year the ground is as bare as pre-Thanksgiving, and it looks like about mid-November here, too. So crazy!

I Don't Get Sick Often; I Just Get Sick BIG.

2011-12-21T06:25:00.004-06:00

OMGGGGGGG. Why oh why do I feel so sick?

Yesterday I felt better for awhile. I got dressed in actual clothes, drove my daughter to and from a playdate, ran a quick errand, and did two loads of laundry. But it was all a charade. Or an illusion? A mirage? I don't know. It was a trick. Later in the day I felt as crappy as ever, and this morning? I feel even crappier than that! And today is the day of my daughters' holiday cookie parties and Winter Sings at school--the highlight of the year for them (and for me).

Let me tell you a little bit about this strange virus. First, I am sure I am no longer contagious, since I've been sick since Sunday. I'm sure whatever contagion may have been clinging to my being is long gone. And I'm not coughing, or sneezing, or anything normal and upper-respiratory like that. So I look fairly normal, albeit pale and a bit disheveled. The problem is, I feel horribly nauseous (but do not throw up, THANK GOD, because if you know me well you may recall that I have a terrible phobia of vomiting; I would rather do just about anything in the world but vomit. And I realize no one likes to vomit, but my dislike is more along the lines of hysterical. And now I think we should stop talking about it). I have no appetite whatsoever, I'm no doubt dehydrated, and am so tired and weak that when I'm feeling really bad, it is truly challenging to climb the stairs. I've been going to bed at 7 p.m. every night, but the only thing it seems to do for me is make my back ache from the many, many hours spent sleeping. Ugh!

I don't think this is influenza, since a.) I got a flu shot in mid-November; b.) I don't think influenza is a tummy bug; and c.) my friend Connie had this same virus--or a version of it--last week and recovered without any real drama. But whatever it is, I want to sock it in the face.

Writing This is Making Me Tired.

2011-12-20T07:33:00.002-06:00

On Sunday, when this virus hit me in the space of about half an hour (seriously: one hour, fine and baking cookies with my daughters and taking them to swimming lessons; the next, unconscious on my bed after eating next to nothing for lunch), I was willing to humor it. Yesterday, I was annoyed but figured I could spare a day of cleaning and cooking and laundry and errands and writing work and Christmas preparations to lie on my bed some more, this time almost unable to move--after all Christmas was still six days away.

But today, I'm getting mad. I have gifts to wrap and holiday menus to plan and shop for; I have treats to deliver. And most important of all, I have my daughters' Christmas concerts at school tomorrow, when tomorrow is suddenly seeming very imminent.

This virus would be a great excuse to just lay around and eat Christmas cookies all day--if it weren't the type of virus that takes away one's appetite completely and leaves her eating nothing more than saltines since Sunday.

In other news, still no snow. What in the world?

Simple, Inexpensive Ways to Get Fit in 2012

2011-12-19T08:13:00.004-06:00

So, the recession is squeezing the life out of your bank account, Christmas bills are piling up, and it's almost time to make all those New Year's resolutions about exercising regularly and getting in shape.

Lucky for you, regular exercise doesn't have to be expensive. Click over to SheBudgets.com, why don't you, and read the piece I just wrote for them about some simple, budget-friendly strategies for getting fit. You could do that for me, couldn't you? Love you.

The Week Before Christmas

2011-12-19T06:04:00.005-06:00

I don't know if I've mentioned it here, but we've been having spring weather where I live. Yes, I know I live in MN. The place where winter usually lasts six months, and where it snowed last May Day.

It looks nothing like December outside, let alone the holidays. The snow is long gone. (Everyone here is heartbroken, and although I'm not winter's biggest fan, I do want and expect a white Christmas, had planned my girls' Christmas vacation to include plenty of skating and sledding and snowman-building and hot chocolate-drinking, so this is rather sad.) Yesterday it was 47 degrees and sunny. When I walked out of the building after my daughter's swimming lesson, I thought, Wow what a great day for a run. When I'm not injured, Sunday is a big running day for me. I always run on Sundays. The upside of a spring-like December is that it's a total bonus for outdoor runners.

On the way home, I noted how odd it was that I was not hungry, seeing as how it was 1 p.m. and I hadn't yet had lunch. Hmmm.... An hour later my hands and fingers began to ache. Hmmm....? A short while after that, my skin began to hurt. Then I became feverish and noticed that the idea of dinner was about as appealing as a brown Christmas. Damn.

I swallowed a friend's leftover Zofran, drank 4 ounces of fizzy water and ate 5 saltines, and went to bed at 7 p.m.

I didn't run. I didn't go out in the spring-like weather. And now it's the week before Christmas and I've got some sort of VIRUS.

So along with wishing for a white Christmas, I'm also wishing for a speedy recovery. Moms have things to do at this time of year, you know?

Another Easy Holiday Craft for Kids: Glittery Pine Cone Ornament

2011-12-18T06:47:00.007-06:00

Need something else artsy and Christmasy to do with your kids this week? I've got another little craft project for you: making a Glittery Pine Cone Ornament.

If you've got evergreens in your yard (as we do), you're so set. Then you can do this spur of the moment, with little to no advance planning! That's my style of craft project. If you don't, well, procure yourself some pine cones (maybe a pre-craft nature walk is in order?); then do this project.

As you will see, pine cone ornaments are extremely simple, which makes them the perfect project for little hands. Just set the pine cone on a paper plate; put out cups of red, green, and white paint (with separate brushes for each); and let your child paint the pine cone in holiday colors.

While the paint is still wet, have your child sprinkle the pine cone with glitter (silver or gold looks especially nice, particularly with an all-white pine cone; but we had red and green, and that's lovely too) and let dry.

And tie a ribbon or string around the top, for hanging.

And there you have it. And once again, you are an awesome, fun mom. Go you!

Running After Dark: Knuckle Lights Review

2011-12-16T07:36:00.006-06:00

Nope, I wasn't compensated for this post. These are just my sincere opinions.

Squeezing exercise into your schedule is tough when you're a mom. Whether you're home all day with kids or work outside the home, you're juggling ten million details and obligations from sun-up to sundown, which just doesn't leave time for a quick run or a long walk.

Which is why almost all my runs from October to April happen in the dark. On weekdays at least, I run when I can get a break from childcare duty--and that typically means after the sun has set. I'm clawing my way back from a persistent running injury right now, so I'm slowly getting back to my former T./Th./Sa./Sun. running schedule, which puts me outside after dark at least two days per week. And though I've done it for years, running after dark always makes me a little bit nervous. Sure, I wear a reflective vest and I run against traffic and follow all those common-sense rules and whatnot, but I've had plenty of experiences where it seems like the driver coming at me isn't pay attention and only sees me at the last minute. And I run on some very dark stretches of road, let me tell you.

So when I heard about Knuckle Lights, I was thrilled. Talk about an ingenious invention! I talked Christopher into considering them my early Christmas present, and ordered myself a pair. (I also included them on my Mama in Wonderland Holiday Gift Guide, did you see?) Because they were back-ordered at the time, the company gave me five dollars off my order, and included a free clip-on flashing light and velcro reflective arm/leg band in my box when it finally shipped; all domestic shipping is free, too.

Now that I've used them a few times, I thought my readers might find it useful to hear what I think of them; I know there are a lot of mom runners out there.

The bottom line is, they are great and I absolutely love feeling visible and secure when I'm out running in the dark. They're SUPER bright, with very long and wide beams, so you can both be seen by cars and also see the ground in front of you, which helps when you're dealing with snow and ice patches, potholes, etc. You can even "aim" one at something if you need extra info: Is that a bush on the side of the road up there, or a raccoon? They're lightweight, easy to wear/hold, and do not interfere with my gait or feel annoying while I run. I pretty much forget I'm even wearing them after a few minutes of running. (I should note that so far, I have only worn one while running, not the pair; but this is an individual issue related to what I need to hold in the other hand and carry with me when I run right now, and has nothing to do with anyone else. I'm sure I will run with both lights sometimes too, which will be even better.)

However, my Knuckle Lights aren't perfect for me. See, I have wee little mouse bones. My hands and fingers are tiny. You probably do not have wee little mouse bones, and therefore Knuckle Lights would likely fit you perfectly, but even when I pull the strap as tight as it is able to go, making the loop around my hands as small as possible, I still have to actively hold onto my Knuckle Light to keep it on my hand. Gloves help, but don't fix the problem completely. Fortunately, I'm used to carrying (small) things while I run--my keys, my phone--and this does not bother me as much as it might some. But it does bother me a little, and it's clear that Knuckle Lights would be far more awesome if I could strap them around my hands and have them stay there securely without my having to clench the straps in my palms. Like I said, though, this problem most likely does not plague very many people; if it did, I'm sure the company would make smaller straps.

The company offers a 90-day, 100% money-back returns policy, meaning that you can try out your Knuckle Lights several times before deciding if you want to keep them (awesome!). Despite the minor size issue, I'm definitely keeping mine. Like I said, these lights make me feel super secure and safe when I run, which is worth a lot when you're a runner; the beams are incredible and FAR superior to headlamps. Plus, they're very lightweight and easy to use.

I wholeheartedly recommend Knuckle Lights to any other after-dark mama runners out there, and the Knuckle Lights company is in no way compensating me for saying that (or even for writing a review). I just like them and want to support this small company that has stellar customer service and is truly invested in making runners' lives easier. If you walk or run after dark, you might want to consider getting yourself a pair, too--or asking Santa for them this year.

Scarves for Mom Style

2011-12-15T07:50:00.004-06:00

I cannot tell you how much I love this video. For one thing, I am devoted to scarves and wear them all the time. And for another, she's adorable and the video is super-cute, fun to watch, creative, and entertaining. Plus it's only a few minutes long. Highly recommend, particularly if you'd like to jazz up your mama style. (I apologize that I can't get the entire video screen to post. If this impedes you, go to one of my favorite new blogs, The Successful Woman's Guide--which is where I discovered it--and watch the video there. It's worth it!)

What's Up With the Book?

2011-12-15T05:11:00.002-06:00

It's officially mid-December, and just in case some of you are here today wondering about my book because you missed my post last week, I just wanted to update you all.

My book release date has been pushed back a little bit. You can read about it here, and then please please please come back on December 26th--what else are you going to be doing, after all?--for some big news.

Here Comes the (Artificial) Sun

2011-12-14T05:12:00.002-06:00

Meet my new best friend.

As many of you know, winter in the far north is NOT my best friend. In fact, it's so not my best friend that last spring my nurse practitioner advised me to get myself a light box the next time winter came around. In truth, she wanted me to buy a light box by late August or early September, which is when the angle of the sunlight starts to change up here, but that didn't happen. No matter. I have it now, and let me tell you, it was worth having to use my credit card (what else is new) to buy it.

I think the light box really works. I mean, either that or the fact that so far this year our late autumn and early winter has been relatively kind is keeping my vitamin-D-sensitive brain chemicals happy. (For instance: you know that big snowfall we got the other weekend? It just melted. All of it. And although it was about five degrees outside last Thursday evening for our town's annual Winter Walk, and our fingers and toes became numb, yesterday it was 40 degrees.)

But no, I really believe it's the light box. Because despite the warm and easy weather, it's still dark by 5 p.m., and stays that way until nearly eight in the morning, and that's just a whole lot of dark for vulnerable brains such as mine. And yet, I feel pretty good so far. However, I should note that, while the instructions state that benefits should result from a mere 15 minutes of light exposure per day, I sit by my light box for a good hour every morning--from the time I come downstairs to drink my coffee and get some work done on the computer at about 5:15 all the way through the girls' breakfast at about 6:15. Sometimes I linger until 6:30 or so, and sometimes I turn it back on later in the morning if I'm working in the kitchen, because why not? So perhaps I am mega-dosing on medical-grade UV light.

But I luuuuurve it. So don't try to get between me and my Philips GoLite. It's what's going to get me through winter in Minnesota from here on out. Mother's little helper.

Good Luck Christmas Fudge

2011-12-13T05:32:00.005-06:00

Last weekend I made fudge. A LOT of fudge. It was for the Christmas cookie exchange, and yes, I know fudge is not a cookie. But who doesn't like fudge? Yum.

I decided to make fudge for the cookie exchange because I have this recipe, originally from my step-grandma, that makes enough fudge for a small village. I found this out years ago, when I made it for a Christmas party and afterward I still had so much left over that I didn't know what to do with it all. Other than eat it, I mean. It seemed rather efficient to make fudge for the exchange, since I needed nine dozen treats, and a batch or two of fudge would surely take a lot less time than making nine dozen cookies. (Not that I don't love to bake, because I do. But still.)

This particular fudge recipe is divine; it's that classic creamy, firm, basic fudge that your grandma made, nothing crazy like any weird flavoring or even any chopped nuts. So a few people have asked me for the recipe. And herein lies the potential problem.

This recipe was mailed to me, ten years ago, by my mom. She typed it out (typed! it was a long time ago) and there's all sorts of silly commentary and inappropriate vagueness. Now, you have to understand, this is how my mom often gives me recipes, especially longstanding family recipes. (No hard feelings, Mom!) They'll be all vague and nonchalant--her version of my grandma's Thanksgiving stuffing recipe says things like, "Then pour some boiling water over the bread cubes; but not a whole lot, because you don't want it all soupy! Just however much seems right"--or, rather than listing all ingredients at the top and then spelling out the method below, she'll write the recipe like a prose poem, with ingredients mentioned here and there in the middle of later sentences, so that you get halfway through the recipe and realize there are more things to add. (Love you, Mom!) So, this fudge recipe lists ingredients such as "the large can of evaporated milk" and "a giant Hershey bar" (the latter appended with, "I will send this in the package I am mailing to you," so that I never had to annotate what a "giant" Hershey bar really is, because it came to my door).

The large can? What? There's only one can. Is it large? It sure doesn't seem very large. In fact, it's pretty small! And "giant"? What does that mean? Is your definition of "giant" the same as mine? Who knows.

Last week, in anticipation of fudge-making, I e-mailed my mom to get some clarification. It turns out that the large can of evaporated milk is 12 ounces. And the giant Hershey bar? Eight ounces. Fortunately, the marshmallow fluff was rather specific: "a two-pint jar." OK. Fair enough.

So on Saturday I went to the grocery store to get my fudge ingredients, now satisfyingly specific. Twelve ounces. Eight-ounce bar. Two pints. That's, what, four cups? No problem.

Only....it seems that in the 30 or whatever years since my step-grandma gave this recipe to my mother, all the food companies downsized their product sizes. The evaporated milk was the same 12 ounces, but the "giant" Hershey bar is now six-point-something ounces. Actually, our store was out of the six-something ounce bars, so the next-largest size was 4.4 ounces. The marshmallow creme? Comes in seven or 13 ounce jars now. Thanks a lot, Kraft.

What to do? I had to get this right! This fudge was for the cookie exchange! In the end I figured I'd just go with rough approximations of the ingredient amounts. Eight ounces of chocolate? I'd just buy two of the 4.4-ounce bars and--bonus!--eat a little bit of each one. Thirteen ounces of marshmallow fluff? That's pretty close to 16 ounces, which is a pint, right?

So that was what I was dealing with: a recipe that not only started out completely vague, but ended up with unavailable ingredient amounts. If I was lucky, it would come out fine anyway.

In the end, in the busy grocery store aisles, I got so befuddled that I accidentally bought only half the necessary amount of marshmallow. And made the entire first batch of fudge that way before noticing. (It turned out fine, by the way.*)

So here you are: my fudge recipe (with the vague ingredient amounts clarified--but not necessarily available). Merry Christmas! Good luck!

Good Luck Christmas Fudge
makes 6 lbs.

Ingredients:

1 stick of butter or margarine
4-1/2 cups white sugar
1 12-oz. can of evaporated milk
1 12-oz. bag of semi-sweet chocolate chips
1 8-oz. Hershey bar (milk chocolate, no almonds), broken into pieces
2 pints (that's 32 oz. total) marshmallow creme (TWO! TWO pints! Not just one.)

In a very large pot, heat butter/margarine, sugar, and evaporated milk to a rolling boil. Keep boiling like that for 8 minutes, stirring occasionally. Then add the chocolate chips and the Hershey bar pieces and stir until melted and smooth. (Do you remove the pot from the heat while you do this? I do not know. Good luck!) Add marshmallow creme and stir until blended.

Pour into a greased 9 x 13 inch pan. Put into the refrigerator, covered with foil, to set. When set, cut into 1-inch-square pieces.

**************************

* In the interest of full disclosure, I must reluctantly add that, though my first, large batch of fudge turned out great, it yielded only eight of the nine dozen necessary pieces; and when I went to make a second, half batch to finish off the project, my entire pot of fudge seized when I added the chocolate to the butter-sugar-evaporated milk mixture--which, if you've never had it happen to you before, as I hadn't before Sunday, is an absolutely crazy, nearly instantaneous occurrence, and while it happens in about two seconds flat, time sort of slows down too, like in a dream or in the moments right before you're in a car crash, and you find yourself wailing, "Nooooooooooo!" even as it's happening and you know there is no saving that pot of fudge.

I had to throw the whole thing away and give the ninth person a dozen pumpkin white chocolate-chip cookies instead. There was no way I was going to start making a third pot of fudge at that point. Not that the ninth person minded, I am sure. (FYI: I wandered around on the Internet, and it seems that most likely my butter mixture got too hot--even though I was following the recipe to the letter--and apparently this can happen in, like, 30 seconds or less.) So, anyway...seriously: GOOD LUCK.

Coming Soon: A Big Exciting Announcement

2011-12-10T06:44:00.004-06:00

Are you ready to see the cover of my book?

Let me tell you, this totally makes up for a week of bills, medical appointments, and being the parent on glitter duty while volunteering in the second grade.

Ta-da!

Shall I teach you how to say my name?
It's TASS-uh-vuh, yo. Accent on the first syllable. Tell your friends.

Sooooo exciting, right?! If you were here with me, I would definitely grab your hands and make you jump up and down with me, while squealing.

I know that I've been telling you, my dear and faithful readers, that my book is coming out in mid-December. But now things have been pushed back a bit. That's OK, though, because the reason for the change is SO! INCREDIBLY! EXCITING! that jumping and down and squealing won't even begin to cover it.

I'm sorry, I wish I could say more, but this is how it has to be right now. In the meantime, please come back on DECEMBER 26th for a Big Exciting Announcement about my book.

I know! How can you possibly wait? I feel the same way. But honestly, that's just a little more than two weeks from right now. You can handle that, right?

Easy Holiday Craft for Kids: Handprint Santa

2011-12-09T05:07:00.004-06:00

This is what Genevieve and I did yesterday morning:

OK, so his beard is a little straggly. But he's cute, no?

All you need is green (or other dark-colored) construction paper; red paper for cutting into the shape of a hat; googly eyes; a glue stick; a couple of paper plates; and white, red, pink, and brown or black paint. Oh, and a brush for painting your child's hand to make the print.

First cut some red paper into the shape of a Santa hat. Have your child glue it to a piece of construction paper.

Next, have your child glue two googly eyes about a finger's width below the bottom of the Santa hat. (You want space for the hat's trim.)

Put some white washable poster paint on a paper plate, and carefully paint your child's entire palm and all five fingers white (or have your child do his or her own). Then press the handprint (upside down) beneath the googly eyes, again leaving a little space.

Have your child use his or her thumbprint to make a white pom-pom for the top of Santa's hat, and overlapping white circles for trim at the bottom.

Squeeze a small dollop each of red, pink, and brown or black paint onto another plate. Let your child use a finger to carefully dot on a red nose, pink cheeks, and brown or black mouth.

And voila! You're now an awesome, fun mom. (As if you weren't before!)

Have fun!

More Easy Homemade Holiday Gifts

2011-12-07T13:11:00.002-06:00

Candy canes; melted chocolate; red, green, and white nonpareils and jimmies; wax paper. This is what Genevieve and I made this morning while accidentally both wearing bright white shirts. We emerged unscathed.

I Have to Hide the Website From My Daughters.

2011-12-07T06:20:00.004-06:00

This autumn has been the Season of Medical Appointments. Actually, I guess last summer was too, seeing as how I was constantly going to physical therapy for my nagging running injury (update: still not gone!).

But this fall has really nabbed the prize. Not even counting my daughters' pinkeye and kidney ultrasound and dental check-ups, I've been to more health professionals' offices in the past few months than I think I have been in the last year. That's what happens when you have a running injury, your hair is mysteriously falling out, your contact lens prescription changes dramatically because apparently your nearsightedness has worsened, how is that even possible?, and you're due for your flu shot, your teeth cleaning, your ob-gyn check-up, and a baseline mammogram. (You can understand why I am totally broke. Medical bills bite, you all.)

At one of these appointments--when I went in for my annual ob-gyn visit--my doctor and I were discussing the fact that all my hair is falling out. I've seen my primary care provider for this issue, have had blood work done, and have a dermatology consult next week, but it's pretty major, so naturally I was talking with my ob-gyn about it as well. Hair loss can be a stress reaction, which I've experienced before, so my doctor asked if I could consider taking a yoga class or doing any sort of formal relaxation exercises. Since we have zero money right now, signing up for an ongoing class at our town's yoga studio is out of the question, so my doctor and I were brainstorming less expensive, yet structured and formal, ways to manage stress. Hilariously, she recommended a stress management CD she had bought for her daughter at the Renaissance Fair last summer by some dude named Franko the Hypnotist.

No I am not kidding.

I joked at the time that maybe Franko had a website, and then promptly forgot all about it until the other day when I was texting with my fellow-psychologist friend Kristi about my impending baldness and thought she'd get a kick out of the idea of my doctor recommending Franko the Hypnotist. After we stopped texting, I went and Googled him, and of course I found his website. With CDs for sale. Including one called Stress Management.

And I in no way mean to insult Franko the Master Hypnotist, because to be honest I will most likely order his CD because I am totally desperate to stop my hair from falling out, but THE EYES AT THE TOP OF THAT SITE ARE SCARY, YOU ALL!

Seriously, don't you think?! Egad! Scary.

You can imagine the speed at which I e-mailed Kristi the link to this site.

But my doctor swears he's amazing. And I am in no position to doubt.

Bright Side of Winter

2011-12-06T15:14:00.004-06:00

A couple of weeks ago, at Thanksgiving, it was so warm that I went outside in the yard with my girls without a jacket. The temp was in the 50s then, and we were very, very lucky that it was still that warm in late November.

Now it is early December, we have six inches of fluffy snow on the ground, and I just went running in 15 degree air. For the first time since last winter, I came home with a numb face. And 15 degrees? That's going to feel warm in a few weeks.

I wasn't really ready to venture out into snow and ice and 15-degree temps, seeing as how it was just recently that I was still running over bare ground on my favorite wooded trail, in long sleeves but no jacket. And yes, it was cold. But it's time to face facts; it's December in Minnesota, after all. It's the holiday season. It's definitely time for snow boots and numb faces.

As I shivered down my front walk and onto my winter running route, I just told myself that all the shivering in the cold was no doubt better for burning off my premature layer of winter flab.

Right?

Homemade Holiday Gifts

2011-12-05T05:06:00.002-06:00

I love to give homemade treats to friends, neighbors, and other special people at holiday time. Usually the girls and I go crazy baking all our favorite Christmas cookies, and I make up some plates or tins to give away. I'm sure we'll do that too--not to mention the Christmas cookie exchange--but this year we're also making Snowflake Mix.

I got this recipe from an old holiday issue of Midwest Living (whose image I've used, above), although I'm making a few adjustments here. You really don't need an entire package of M&Ms for this recipe, for example. I mean, you may wish to use the entire package, but you may also wish to hide the unused remainder of the bag in the pantry for sudden chocolate cravings while wrapping gifts or addressing Christmas cards, or to garnish the whipped cream on a lovely mug of hot chocolate. For yourself. Alone. With your feet up.

Oh yes! The recipe. It's a festive, delicious make-it-yourself project for kids (with a parent's help, of course), and when wrapped in beribboned cellophane bags or nestled in pretty boxes, it'll be the perfect teacher gift. (It keeps up to a month in the freezer, so make it anytime and save it for the day before Christmas vacation, or whenever you choose to give it away to the saint of a teacher who skillfully manages 23 five-year-olds without raising her voice.) Julia and I made a batch yesterday afternoon, with Christmas carols on the CD player and the weekend's snowfall blanketing the landscape outside. You should, too!

Snowflake Mix
makes roughly 8 to 10 cups

Ingredients:

3 cups Corn Chex cereal
3 cups Rice Chex cereal
1 cup salted, roasted peanuts or honey-roasted peanuts
1-2 cups salted mini pretzel twists
2 12-oz. bags white chocolate morsels
1 cup red and green plain M&Ms or mint M&Ms

Lay a sheet or two of wax or parchment paper out flat on your countertop for later.

Using a very large bowl, mix together the cereals, peanuts, and pretzels. In a large glass measuring cup or microwave-safe bowl, microwave the white chocolate morsels, one bag at a time, following the melting directions that are printed on the package. Working quickly, pour melted white chocolate over snack mix and stir to coat.

Quickly pour mixture onto your wax or parchment paper, spreading it out as best you can. Before it dries, sprinkle M&Ms evenly over the mix, pressing candies gently into the mixture if possible. (Try not to get white chocolate all over the tops of M&Ms; this does not look as pretty as when the M&Ms are nice, bright, clean red and green. If this proves impossible, forget about the pressing-in part and just sprinkle the M&Ms; they'll be OK.)

Let cool and harden for 1 hour. Then break gently into chunks and either store in a well-sealed container in the fridge for up to a week or the freezer for up to a month, or distribute into gift bags or boxes to give away immediately.

Or keep it for yourself. Just don't eat it all at once.

I May Have Under-Trained.

2011-12-03T05:41:00.002-06:00

This week was EXHAUSTING. Proof: three nights in a row, I went to bed before 8:30 p.m.

How can life be so exhausting when both your children are in school at least part of the time? Back when my girls were babies and the only time I sat down all day was to nurse, I think I expected that by the time they were in kindergarten and second grade, life would sort of be a breeze. If I was really lucky I could finagle hanging onto this stay-at-home mom gig, and during the three hours they'd both be in school, I would restore myself so sufficiently that the rest of the time would feel like a walk in the park. (Ha! Sometimes it literally is a walk in the park! But I digress.)

Just another instance of having no clue whatsoever, before it happens to you.

I love my life--a LOT. I don't want it to change. (Well, the money thing, that could change. Not being able to pay your bills is one of the things that is surprisingly exhausting.) It's a really fun life, something I was reminded of yesterday as I hosted a kids' playgroup/mom's coffee at my house and got to socialize with some of my very favorite people in the world (I've got some really smart, funny, interesting mom friends, I tell you). In between feeding small children and checking on playroom crashing noises and keeping the toddler away from the markers, we had a really nice time chatting and drinking coffee. But this week my life really wiped me out. My last scheduled obligation yesterday, a playdate at our house with my 7-year-old daughter's best school friend, ended at 7:30 last night....after which I walked immediately to my bed and went to sleep. At 8 p.m. And slept straight till five this morning. That's nine hours of sleep, people. I don't think I've gotten nine of hours of sleep since I was pregnant with daughter number one. For those keeping track at home, that's NEARLY A DECADE AGO.

As I got up this morning and brewed myself some extra-strong coffee, I realized that at-home mothering now is just a different kind of marathon. It's no longer the nursing and spoon-feeding every morsel and diapering and trying to get the baby to nap and dragging everybody out the door for playgroup with a giant diaper bag and a carseat over one arm--ha! remember those days, fellow moms? or are you still living them? I confess a burst of nostalgia. No, now the marathon involves volunteering at the elementary school and arranging playdates and being responsible for more external obligations and events--not just the daily household minutia of naps and feedings. For many of us it involves juggling some sort of work, whether it be part-time or at-home or whatever--with the timing of the school bus and the errands and homework supervision.

I've always said motherhood is a marathon. And for some people, I suppose that phrase must imply something horrible, torturous, insane. But remember? I'm a runner. I always wanted to run a marathon. This is mine. It's tiring. But it's worth every step. And my daughters are up now, so here we go again.

Go Team Mom! You can do it. We all can.

Short, Busy Days

2011-12-01T06:17:00.003-06:00

Sorry for the infrequent writing here; this week has been super busy! I think it's just coming off the holiday break and all. My kids are back at school this week of course, with the usual homework and school commitments, and I will be volunteering in both their classrooms--up until now it's just been the kindergarten room--for the first time this week (continuing weekly for the rest of the year). Combine that with bringing my kids and myself to dentist and doctor appointments, starting to address the Christmas cards, hosting a little get-together for moms and kids, decorating the house for the holidays, and catching up on grocery shopping and cooking and baking, and....well, no time to blog. Which is probably fine because I don't have that much to say.

The things that fill my life and use up my concentration these days are things that are not unique--in fact, they may be ones you struggle with, too: not enough money to pay the bills, myriad health problems, challenging child behavior. Nothing new, nothing special. But I have noticed that they really take it out of me, physically. I've been more tired this week than I have in a long time--the kind of tired that isn't about a bad mood or frustration, but just about the day having taken every ounce of energy out of you.

So I'm trying to focus on the SUPER! EXCITING! parts of December--i.e., my BOOK COMING OUT SOON (wheeee!!!!), and the fun of experiencing the holidays with my daughters.

How are you doing, as we jump headlong into December? Busy, crazy, excited, calm? Keep me posted.

Addictive Pumpkin Cookies

2011-11-29T08:55:00.004-06:00

I had some leftover canned pumpkin in my refrigerator, plus half a bag of white chocolate chips in the pantry, so yesterday I tried a new recipe and made these cookies. They're marvelously autumnal and/or holiday-ish, so whether you're still in Thanksgiving mode (leftover turkey, anyone?) or are already embracing the winter holidays, these cookies seem perfect either way. They ended up being the best cookies in all of existence, in the entire history of the world. You're welcome.

By the way, I altered the recipe and used half whole-wheat flour, half white flour instead of all white, and they still turned out so addictive that it was a good thing I was freezing them for future hostess gifts, treat deliveries, or times I suddenly need refreshments to serve for unexpected company. Oh, and in case you try the recipe, note that I baked them for a shorter time than the recipe indicates -- eight minutes, then I let them rest on the cookie sheet for a minute or two before removing them to a wire rack to cool. They will seem soft and fragile, but when they cool they will remain soft and chewy. OMG yum.

Try them. But only if you're okay with the possibility of eating way too many cookies. Because they are goooooood.

Kids and Separation Anxiety

2011-11-28T05:36:00.005-06:00

Genevieve has separation anxiety. She used to cry at preschool drop-off, and even last summer during her kindergarten-preparedness class, she was still crying on the second-to-last day of "school." Then she went and shocked the hell out of me by NOT crying when it came time to start kindergarten. That was really, really weird -- but I suspect the fact that her best friend, her favorite non-relative in the entire world BY FAR, is in her class and gets picked up by the school bus immediately before she does. Genevieve feels secure when this buddy is around, and her house is the only place Genevieve will willingly go for drop-off playdates.

But when it comes to anything else -- kids-only activities and classes, drop-off birthday parties, other playdates, even staying home with a visiting grandma while Christopher and I go out on a very rare date -- she will generally become extremely anxious and cry a lot and, if there's any option, she'll refuse to go.

Yesterday she cried so much when I brought her to our friends' daughter's birthday party, even though she was with her sister and we've been to this house and spent time with this family more times than any of us can count, that I had to hang around for a good 20 minutes, cuddling her and pointing out all the reasons she should stay, all the reasons this party would be safe and fun even though I wouldn't be there for the next two hours. In the end, she did agree to stay, holding hands with Julia and sniffling, as long as I promised to come back a little early. It worked out (no one called Christopher and me on our coffee date to have us come and rescue her), but those kinds of moments are SO not fun. You're upset for your child, you're regretful for disrupting everyone else's good time, you're sorry that the crying is distressing to some of the other children, you're not sure if you should leave your child or not. You're basically in a total sweat, and you're wondering if things are ever going to change.

Both my children have separation anxiety to some extent, in different forms and at different levels. Genevieve's is the classic, don't-leave-me type, the kind I assume will fade with age. Julia is usually fine with situations she knows well -- school, friends' birthday parties, weekly swimming lessons -- but every time she starts something new, she hangs back and will often cry and not want to go. She also has occasional episodes of tearfulness at school -- for one six- or eight-week period last year in 1st grade, she cried about leaving me every morning, and even now it's not uncommon for her to cry at school if there is an unexpected substitute teacher or something else unfamiliar or if she just misses me.

Some people say that if my children had been in daycare, or if I'd made them stay with babysitters more often when they were younger (and continued to do so now), they wouldn't be like this about separation. This could be true to some extent, but honestly, as a clinical psychologist, I firmly believe that anxiety (along with so many other things) is largely a function of inborn temperament. Heredity, genetics, whatever you want to call it. Anxiety is something certain people naturally tend toward, an approach to the world passed down biologically from brain to brain. It's the way some of us simply are.

I'm not saying that learning and experiences never mediate anxiety (in both directions); clinical anxiety disorders are one of the most rewarding psychological illnesses to treat, because they respond so well to cognitive-behavioral therapy (the type that I practice(d)). But the general (non-clinical) personality tendency to be anxious about things, the natural tendency to approach the unfamiliar with worry and anxiety -- that's inborn temperament. Also, my husband and I have never had the money to afford sitters on a regular basis. Right now, we are not even able to pay our basic household bills with our monthly income (to the rescue: credit cards and my parents' generosity); we certainly aren't able to hire babysitters.

So, really, it's all a moot point. It's just the way things are.

What about you; do your children ever suffer from separation anxiety? How do you handle it?

Keeping the Holidays Manageable

2011-11-26T06:26:00.004-06:00

We had a very nice Thanksgiving. My parents drove down from northern Minnesota to be with us, and this year, at the dinner table, when discussing what they are thankful for, my girls actually included mention of family/parents. This is notable because, in previous years, they've typically spouted haphazard lists of things like "Snoopy," or "snow," or "candy." I guess at seven and five you realize that in the grand scheme of things, not being an orphan is more important than sugar or cartoon characters. Just barely, though. Genevieve did also say that she's thankful for TV. ("Because otherwise, I wouldn't have anything to WATCH!" Indeed.)

Now that the holiday season is fully upon us, I think it's a good time to revisit the piece I wrote for BlogHer last year at around this time: Steps for a Smaller, Saner Holiday Season. Enjoy, and consider NOW how you're going to keep your wits about you for the next month, as you wrangle children through tree trimming and house decorating and party planning and sledding and cookie baking and gift shopping and school concerts and ice skating and holiday get-togethers and trips to see grandma and grandpa, all while you attend to the day-to-day schedule and your family's basic needs.

I always say that, in most families, it's mom who's in charge of "throwing" the holidays, like you throw a party--it's just that this party lasts for a good five or six weeks. It can be exhausting, but when you have kids it's also extraordinarily fun and rewarding, both because you want them to experience all the best of the season and because children appreciate and enjoy things so incredibly much, even the tiny, simple things--in every fiber of their little beings. It really does cause you to experience things differently, too.

So, go forth and eat the rest of that pumpkin pie. You're going to need the energy, mamas.

Holiday Gift Guide

2011-11-23T05:24:00.004-06:00

Are you ready for the Mama in Wonderland 2011 Holiday Gift Guide? Full of awesome ideas for great gifts for all the moms you know (including you)?

Here goes! (Oh and by the way: none of these companies is compensating me in any way for these plugs. You're welcome, companies.)

When choosing a gift for a mom -- whether that be a friend, your sister, your cousin, or your own mom -- you can't go wrong with the Benefit Eye Bright instant eye brightening pencil, a miracle makeup stick that makes you look like you've gotten more sleep than you actually have. Don't think of it as telling the recipient that she has giant dark circles under her eyes. Think of it as saying, I'm a mom too; I get it. This will help and you will love it.

Again, in the beauty department, I highly recommend Neutrogena Ageless Intensives Anti-Wrinkle Deep Wrinkle Night Moisturizer (whew, that's a mouthful). I know this may be a sensitive maneuver; after all, you don't want to imply that your favorite fellow mom is a wrinkled old crone. But if we're talking about your BFF with whom you discuss everything, including the indignities of turning forty, this is a great gift. It works!

PeaceLoveMom t-shirts. OMG, I love this company so much I cannot even tell you. Their tees, with their signature positive, mom-celebratory messages, are unbelievably fab: comfy, cute, hip, and happiness-inducing. I have the "Lucky Mom, 24/7" thermal tee, above (mine is a bright raspberry, but I love that pumpkin color), and I get comments and compliments on it wherever I go. But be sure and check out all their cheerful options, which include designs like "happy mom," "Major Mom," and "Peace Love Mom." The hard part is choosing which one to buy. You might just have to include one for yourself in your order.

Mothers' jewelry has been all the rage for awhile now, but AJ's Collection offers particularly pretty, modern pieces that will stand the test of time and make you happy every time you wear them. Personally, I want the "Lucky Two" necklace, above; but I also love the "Deux Mini," and there are myriad choices for moms and grandmas of any number of children or grandchildren.

You don't have to spend a lot to make someone's holiday. Give one of Old Navy's colorful scarves; any mom will appreciate looking stylish AND feeling cozy and warm while wrangling kids at the sledding hill or skating rink this winter.

Got an outdoor exerciser on your list? Moms know it's tough to fit exercise into our busy schedules; it often means our winter walks and runs happen either before the sun rises or after it sets -- i.e., when children are sleeping or otherwise occupied. I just ordered a pair of Knuckle Lights, and though I haven't received them yet, I'm psyched to exercise outside in December and January without being terrified I'm either going to slip on an unseen patch of ice or get hit by a car in the dark. I bet you know someone who would love this nifty invention, too.

And, of course, shameless self-promotion: As mentioned the other day, my book The Essential Stay-at-Home Mom Manual: How to Have a Wondrous Life Amidst Kids and Chaos comes out just before the holidays -- December 15th, I believe (I'll let you know). It's a one-stop resource for keeping yourself sane, healthy, and happy; your kids entertained; and your household in order. It's especially for any at-home mom who struggles with taking care of herself as thoroughly as she takes care of her kids, and who loves being a mom but also admits that it drives her crazy at times. Oh, wait a minute -- that's pretty much any at-home mom! How convenient! Just order a bunch of copies of my book and your holiday shopping is done.

Until then, have a wonderful Thanksgiving. I am thankful for every single one of you who reads my blog. Yes, I am talking to YOU.

If You Don't Have a Penny, a Ha'Penny Will Do.

2011-11-22T05:58:00.004-06:00

I don't want to get all maudlin on you, so I won't say a whole lot, but my family is seriously scraping the bottom of the piggy bank this fall. Christopher and I both got laid off from our part-time jobs in September. His layoff is temporary, thank God, and he should be re-hired in January, but my more sizable chunk seems gone for good. These jobs were the ones that paid the bills and allowed for the fun and "treats" that Christopher's regular full-time day job does not cover. (Stay-at-home motherhood, while super-valuable and important, does not come with a salary, as we all know.)

Unfortunately, when my job shriveled up, there was every reason to believe it was also a temporary hiccup, so I continued to use my credit card to buy and pay for the extras I was used to getting -- the new chinos and long-sleeved tees for fall, the skin cream, the brow tint, the coffee dates with my kids, the exciting big Christmas present for my girls, bought early -- as well as the necessities I had no choice but to buy: the medical-grade UV light box that my doctor recommended, the vitamins and supplements for my falling-out hair, the new contact lenses, the groceries, the new snow pants and mittens for my daughters, the hand-held safety lights for my after-dark winter runs, the ENDLESS doctor and dentist and opthamologist co-pays, the physical therapy and cortisone injection and lab-work bills. Because I assumed in a month or two I'd have the ability to pay it off. Horrifyingly, that has not been the case. The end result is a large credit card balance, right before Christmas.

So what's my point, you ask? I'm boring and annoying you? My point is that, since Christmas may be rather spare in my house this year (other than for my kids, because I simply could not resist the on-sale BIG DOLLHOUSE, shhhh! OMG can you imagine being 5 and 7 years old and coming down the stairs on Christmas morning to that?? could not resist), I'm going to make up for it with a fun blog post for you -- a round-up of GREAT holiday gifts for moms. Use it to buy for your best friend, your sis, your cousin, your aunt, your mom -- or direct your husband or partner to it for ideas for stuffing your stocking. (Not meant as a euphemism.)

Check back soon. I'll have some sweet suggestions for you, or for the Santa in your house.

Sunday Sledding

2011-11-21T05:50:00.003-06:00

Over the weekend, it snowed in my town for the first time this season. Only an inch, maybe--nothing major. But enough to send the children out in snow pants and parkas and boots as fast as possible. Children here--maybe children everywhere?--get very excited about snow. Especially the first snow.

The snow fell on Saturday afternoon, and my daughters played in it a little then, between the time it switched over from rain until they and the friends I was babysitting decided some hot chocolate was in order; and then we were all gone to a big party in the evening. But Sunday morning they were up before six, as usual...and by 7:30 a.m. they were sledding our backyard hill. Kids! They amaze me. I mean, at 7:30 a.m. I was drinking coffee in my pajamas and contemplating nothing more ambitious than, say, eating breakfast.

The snow will melt in a day or two; this week is supposed to be warm. Oops, I mean, "warm." I realize that 45 degrees is not "warm" to my southern friends.

But the snow will return soon. And it was a fun weekend.

Holiday Gift-Buying for all the Moms You Know (Including Yourself)

2011-11-19T10:09:00.004-06:00

Faithful readers!

In just a few short weeks, in mid-December (exact date to be determined; I will update you!), my first book will be released by Booktrope Publishing. (OMG! Insert screaming and jumping up and down here.)

A comprehensive handbook for happy and healthy stay-at-home motherhood, The Essential Stay-at-Home Mom Manual: How to Have a Wondrous Life Amidst Kids and Chaos is a combination of professional self-help advice for taking better care of yourself, and real-life anecdotes and practical strategies for making your life as a stay-at-home mom easier and more fun. It's for stay-at-home moms of all kinds (total novices or experienced SAHMs), with kids of all ages, and includes plenty of ideas and resources for any mom who could use some help keeping her kids entertained, her house reasonably tidy, and her sanity intact.

Originally, my book stemmed from this blog, but it expanded into a much larger project when I decided to use my expertise as a clinical health psychologist to address the parts of at-home motherhood that seem to trip women up the most (time for yourself; sleep; fitness; nutrition; mood; taking care of yourself and not just your kids; balancing parenting with other relationships; stress). Who doesn't need help with all that, right? But don't worry--it's also a fun and funny read about life in the trenches of motherhood, with excerpts from this blog as well as examples of mothering craziness from my own life and the lives of other moms I know.

Plus, if you buy my book, you'll get to read about just how grim my life was during my first year of motherhood, before this blog and before I had any other mom friends. Wouldn't you love to find out just how much chocolate I consumed that year? And how much I cried? And how crazy I was? Sure you do.

My book comes out right before Christmas, so bookmark Amazon.com and get your mouse ready to click. I'm sure you know a mom or two who could use this book. Maybe you.

You Can't Really Argue With That.

2011-11-18T05:23:00.004-06:00

One of the best parts about having children is how, once you do, you're sort of set with a constant source of entertainment. I mean, they're always saying and doing things that crack you up.

Here was Genevieve yesterday, as we passed a large cemetery on the way home to our far-edge-of-town neighborhood:

"Boy! Lots of people are DEAD."

I laughed the whole rest of the way home.

Sugar High

2011-11-17T05:51:00.006-06:00

So, I said yes to the cookie exchange. I did! In the end, I was tipped over to the "end up with 15 dozen cookies in the freezer at a time of year when fat and sugar take the place of mood-altering medications" option by two things: a.) the suggestion by two of my friends at playgroup yesterday that I contribute fudge rather than cookies, since my fudge recipe once made approximately ten trillion pieces of fudge, so much fudge I couldn't give it all away, and the cookie exchange could involve a daunting amount of baking, depending on how many people sign up (not decided for sure on the fudge, by the way; I do love to bake); and b.) the cheery, infectious attitude of my friend (and my kids' pediatrician) Heidi, who wrote on Facebook, "what could be bad about baking a ton of cookies and coming away with just as many cookies as you made??" (or something to that effect).

In other words, I chose to embrace the fun and crazy parts of the holiday season (baking a zillion cookies!) rather than get too stuck on the sabotage-the-bathroom-scale aspects.

With kids in the house, you have to give all the way in to Christmas. I don't mean you have to go big and expensive and elaborate and excessive; you all know I wrote about the exact opposite last year for BlogHer. I mean that children force you, as a parent, to focus more on the joyful, even frivolous aspects of the holiday season, rather than either sort of ignoring the holidays altogether or ruminating mainly on the bills and chores and extra work involved (both of which I have been guilty of in my previous, childless life).

And if that means baking a zillion cookies and possibly eating just as many, well...it's best to adopt my friend Heidi's attitude and just enjoy it all--preferably with your kids--as much as you can. That can be challenging if you're struggling financially or you're dealing with health issues or winter makes you feel like stabbing yourself in the head half the time. Believe me, I know. But you can still try. And children's happy, excited faces and grabby hands and sticky sugary smiles help with that.

The Bright Side

2011-11-16T16:11:00.002-06:00

So today when I went in for my annual girly check-up, my gynecologist scheduled me for a baseline mammogram. I told my friends that I am officially old, but my friend Kathy said you're not old until you get a baseline colonoscopy. Whew.

In a Perfect World, Doughnuts Would be Good for You.

2011-11-14T18:06:00.005-06:00

I'm not even kidding you, EVERY SINGLE DAMN YEAR at about this time, by about 5:20 p.m. when it is pitch black outside and seems like, oh, about midnight, and the Novembery wind is starting to flail around and you just know that within days--maybe hours--it will be really cold, I am snuggling into my burrow, snacking on sweet carbs, and gaining five to ten pounds. Then I spend the entire winter feeling terrible about myself and yet at the same time feeling extremely averse to exercising and/or eating fewer sweet carbs. Then in the spring it eventually all goes away and starts up again the following autumn. It's so obviously biochemical it's ridiculous.

This year I'm attempting to use a medical-grade UV light box to quell this annual attempt at hibernation--complete with the layering on of protective fat--but so far it's not working at all. I don't know how long you have to use it before it starts to work (or realize it's not working).

The other day I got an invitation to participate in a Christmas cookie exchange in December. It involves baking a dozen cookies for every person who participates, and you get a dozen from each other person in return. There are over 20 people invited, although I don't know how many invitees will ultimately join up. It sounds super fun--I LOVE to bake--and it's a bunch of my friends who are doing it. I was about to RSVP yes when I realized I could theoretically end up with, like, 15 dozen cookies in my freezer on December 12th. Sure, I'd make up treat plates and give a bunch of them away as gifts to my neighbors, the school bus driver, and other special people in my family's life. But in the end there'd still be an awful lot of sweet carbs in my freezer.

And me with the hibernation and the burrow and the ten pounds and the feeling terrible.

I haven't decided yet. I'm too busy raising my dopamine levels via sugar and chocolate. It's really unfortunate that carrot sticks and water don't stimulate the feel-good portions of your brain.

I'll Brew Some Coffee Up for You.

2011-11-11T05:40:00.006-06:00

This week has been a little on the lonely side. Due to a sick child and whatnot, I haven't been able to hang out with any friends all week -- no park meet-ups, no playgroups. I took my kids to swimming on Sunday and small-talked with a dad I know, took both girls and myself to our nice dentist yesterday and chatted with the receptionist for a minute or two, and other than that mainly stayed inside with Genevieve as she sniffled and laid around morosely feeling terrible. (Bad cold; home from school for two days.) Yesterday I finally caught up with a long-distance friend by phone for an hour, my BFF Veronica with whom I hadn't actually talked in many weeks (texting, though I love it, isn't the same).

Staying home full-time with children can be a lonely endeavor. It seems weird, because oftentimes you aren't really home all that much; shouldn't you have plenty of opportunity for socializing? But it doesn't always work that way. Kids get sick and you end up quarantined at home. Cold weather comes and no one's at the park or the pool every day like they were in the summer. You go and do the grocery shopping; you run the errands or volunteer in your child's classroom. But none of those things really guarantees an adult conversation. Hence the addictive quality, for many a stay-at-home mom, of Facebook and twitter and blog-reading. Some days those online shout-outs are the only adult interaction I get between 8 and 5.

So, let's chat, shall we? Have I told you about the disastrous pumpkin-swirl brownie recipe I tried yesterday? It didn't swirl, overflowed the pan, and took twice as long to bake as the instructions directed. Weird, right? They taste good though. (They're for company, but I had to do some quality-control.) Did you know my mother-in-law is visiting? (Hence the brownies.) Do you want to come over and hang out? Oh, wait.

Well...at least let me know how YOUR week is going. I really want to know.

Bite Me, Running Injury. Also Winter. Also My Hair.

2011-11-08T06:20:00.003-06:00

At the risk of sounding whiny and morose...oh, who am I kidding? I have no qualms about sounding whiny and morose, you all know that. Let's start over.

THIS RUNNING INJURY PRETTY MUCH BITES.

Listen, people, for many years I have used running to dispel stress and feel better about any number of things that may be bothering me. Non-runners won't understand, but fellow runners surely will: you can go outside feeling anxious, angry, broke, fat, stressed, depressed, or panicked that your hair is falling out, pound out a good long run, and come home feeling ten million times better. Not only does it actively fix the anxious, angry, fat, and depressed parts, but it also makes you feel less stressed and panicky about whatever it is that it can't fix (hair falling out, broke).

The cortisone injection helped, but not completely. I'm better than I was in May, but I still can't run more than a short bit, a few times a week, and even then my hip protests somewhat (which is how I know I can't run more than a short bit). There is no going outside and running for an hour and coming home lighter (figuratively and literally, actually).

As my five-year-old would say (loudly and with much scowling and growling), UGH!

Peewee Photographer

2011-11-07T14:49:00.003-06:00

I just got an updated draft of the layout of my upcoming book. Little things in the design are still being added and tweaked -- spacing, font, graphic elements, etc. This draft was the first to include a credit for the photo of me that will be on the back cover (or inside the back cover) of the book. "Author photo credit: Genevieve Tassava." My five-year-old took my picture last fall, when she was four. It's my author photo for the book (also the photo on this blog). How awesome is that? My little daughter will have her name on my book as the credited photographer. I love it.

New Winner

2011-11-05T07:49:00.001-05:00

Hey, everyone. The last Shutterfly 25-cards giveaway prize was not claimed, so I randomly drew a new name. Katrina, you are the winner! I've got a promo code with your name on it.

Wondrous Life

2011-11-04T05:46:00.003-05:00

Yesterday I saw my book, The Essential Stay-at-Home Mom Manual: How to Have a Wondrous Life Amidst Kids and Chaos, fully laid out for the first time. On the computer, I mean, but still! The designer sent me a file of the entire thing, every page, laid out how it will look in print, and with the cover mocked up and everything. How cool is that? It was definitely one of the most significant and exciting moments of my life.

Of course, I had that significant moment while also preparing to go volunteer in Genevieve's kindergarten classroom and fielding an e-mail from Julia's teacher about the fact that she had cried at school because she was scared about having a substitute teacher for the afternoon. So I couldn't exactly drink in the moment and reflect on the hard work and events of the past two years that have led to the imminent publication of my book--you know, how it's the culmination of a lifelong dream and all that? I was a little too busy e-mailing Julia's 2nd-grade teacher and making sure the soup for dinner was started before I went over to volunteer in kindergarten. Which is the exact sort of thing the book is all about, really. So it's all kind of fitting and wonderful.

My Running Route, November.

2011-11-02T09:28:00.004-05:00

(Part of) my running route in November: woods, prairie.

It's November. There's no denying anymore what is coming. It's gray, breezy, and brisk, and that happened overnight. (On Halloween it was sunny, calm, and warm.)

Last night I went up to my running route--perhaps my favorite place on earth for several years now--and though I didn't dare run (injured hip), I walked part of it just to be in the air and amidst the prairie and woods. Every time I'm up there at that time of day, I see the same family of white-tailed deer; they're always at the same bend in the wooded trail, and usually they leap away into the trees when they see me coming but once they stood not ten feet from me and just watched me go past, big eyes staring, still as a painting.

I go much farther into the woods than the photos up there imply, and I often see wildlife--deer or pheasants or wild turkeys. It was too dark to take pictures inside the woods, though, and I didn't think of it when I was at the best part of my route, a ridge that overlooks a vast swath of rolling meadow and prairie grass, edged in banks of trees meeting the large sky where the sun was setting. You can't see any part of town right there, and you'd swear you were hundreds of miles from human life.

I'm getting ready to say goodbye to this route for awhile, because once it's snowed in, I can't run the woods and prairie anymore. Not that I've done much running this summer and fall anyway. Even so, it's hard to leave it. There's something truly restorative and soothing about being out in nature like that. And I don't mean "nature" like your neighbor's yard or the path behind the golf course.

Are you ready for November?

I Need a Candy Detox.

2011-11-01T13:59:00.003-05:00

I find this photo anticlimactic. They actually looked much cuter than this. Genevieve was a witch (a cute, adorable one). Julia was a pioneer girl--basically the embodiment of the Little House books. I think she insisted she was Mary Ingalls, seeing as how Mary was the oldest sister and so is she. But I don't think anyone else really got all that. No matter. Candy flowed like water. Or something. I don't know. I have a sugar hangover. How about you?

There Are No Words. Other Than These, I Mean.

2011-11-01T05:50:00.006-05:00

Another year, another giant bowl of excess candy purchased for trick-or-treaters--apparently, the six hundred trick-or-treaters I inexplicably thought would come to my door. What the...? What am I thinking, people? Why does this happen EVERY YEAR? What is wrong with my brain that I can't remember, in the candy aisle at Target each October, that I DON'T NEED FOUR BAGS OF CANDY. I need, like, two. Or even one, if I don't give fistfuls to every child at my door in a frantic attempt to rid my house of the millions of calories that will otherwise end up in my mouth.

And speaking of excess candy, Good Lord Almighty I cannot BELIEVE my daughters' hauls. Since they literally go to only two blocks of houses, it seems everyone else is giving out fistfuls of candy, too. Actually, I know they are, because I witness it every year. Perhaps that knowledge somehow subconsciously affects my candy-buying every year. Keeping up with the Joneses and all that?

Even though my daughters DEFINITELY do not need it, I don't really believe in taking most of their Halloween candy away from them like some parents I know. I realize that's probably the best thing to do, parenting-wise. (They trade it in for a toy, or some such.) But it just seems sort of Grinch-ish and mean. If the Grinch had anything to do with Halloween. Which he doesn't.

I do dump out and sort through their stash once they go to bed, and confiscate anything choke-y or age-inappropriate (gum, Blow-Pops, jawbreakers, etc.). (What to do with those, by the way? Parents don't like that crap!) And then, last night, I also pilfered a ton of duplicate candy bars and M&Ms, not because I need or even really want to eat them but because my children just do not need hundred and hundreds of calories of chocolate and sugar. They do just fine with things like that in their normal daily lives which involve birthday parties, Mama's homemade desserts, school treats, playdate snacks, and all other manner of treat sources--no doubt way too many.

But in the end, their bags are still stuffed and heavy, to a ridiculous degree, and I keep wondering how much more I should take out, that they wouldn't remember they had. I don't want to deprive them of the fun of knowing what they got and what they'll get to eat; but I also know that it's totally excessive, all of it. And then there's the other question, of who's going to eat all that candy? The good stuff--the Reese's, the Snickers, the M&Ms and Milky Ways and Hershey bars? OMG! You all, I am coming off a running injury and subsequent six months of minimal exercise, paired with stress, a vitamin D deficiency, and annual autumnal mood issues. I already have five or six extra pounds vying for permanent residence on my...uh..."assets." This does not bode well. Oh sure, you might say, "Just don't eat it." But then I'd have to slug you and freeze you out of my social circle.

Just kidding.

Well, to round the night out right, Halloween ended with my 7-year-old developing apparent pinkeye (I assume that I'm next; it happens every time) and my Internet connection crashing just as I completed an online freelance article I'd been working on all day (if by "all day" you mean the multiple separate blocks of three minutes I had here and there between childcare, laundry, cooking, grocery shopping, making the special mummy hotdogs for my daughter's Halloween dinner, and the like) and clicked "submit" to turn it in. Thus erasing my entire freelance article. Good thing the article WAS ONLY WORTH FIVE DOLLARS. Yes, that is what my life has come to. I am ghostwriting 400-word retail blog posts about kids' messenger bags for five dollars. Or not, if my computer crashes on me!

OMG.

Halloween costume photo to come.

Remember the Giveaway?

2011-10-30T07:44:00.002-05:00

My last Shutterfly promo code for 25 free holiday photo cards has yet to be claimed! AZPartyMomma, your name was drawn as the winner, so e-mail me to get it! Otherwise, I'll draw another name from the comments on that giveaway post in a few days.

Motherhood is my Marathon.

2011-10-28T05:48:00.004-05:00

Today I am taking Genevieve to a group playdate with some friends in the morning, volunteering to help run Julia's 2nd-grade classroom Halloween party in the afternoon, going out to our CSA farm for last share pick-up of the season with the girls after school, and attending a family Halloween outdoor movie party (including bundling up in everyone's warmest clothes, bringing tons of blankets, and huddling around a fire pit) in the backyard of Genevieve's best friend after dinner. Hold me. Or give me a caffeine IV drip.

Shutterfly Remedies the Situation

2011-10-26T18:19:00.003-05:00

Well, you'll be happy to know that a few hours after I posted this --oh, and tweeted about it a few times (thanks for the retweets, followers!)--I received an e-mail from Shutterfly Customer Service saying that they were refunding the charge. Apparently I was "provided with misinformation." Mmm-hmm.

I'm just glad they decided to do the right thing. Because, again, it's not that eight dollars is a lot of money. I probably spent more than eight dollars' worth of time writing and talking about it. And eight dollars when I was just given a free order may seem like a small price to pay. It's just that I was promised that eight dollars in the beginning, and I knew that Shutterfly didn't need my measly eight dollars. It's the principle of the thing. It's always the principle with me.

Anyway, social media strikes again. Thanks for fixing things, Shutterfly. That was a good decision.

Shutterfly Makes a Poor Decision

2011-10-26T13:23:00.003-05:00

Well, you all, I've got some disappointing news. And because in my recent Shutterfly Holiday Promotion post I raved and gushed about how much I love Shutterfly and what a devoted Shutterfly customer I have been (I've used them for many gift items and photo books in addition to holiday cards over the past several years), I can't in good conscience keep it from you. You deserve to know that Shutterfly isn't as great a company as I thought it was. Yes, they gave me 50 free cards, and 75 more to give away to others. But then they refused to help me with a frustrating mix-up with my card order, one that resulted in me paying the shipping charge for my cards even though I was supposed to get free shipping. And it's true, shipping was only $7.99 or so. But that's hardly the point.

In Shutterfly's original offer to bloggers, sent to me on October 15th, certain instructions were confusingly worded. At the very end of the e-mail detailing the free card offer and the promo codes for obtaining the cards, there was a line that said:

"Please allow 48-72 hours for the free shipping credit to be applied to your account."

I published my Shutterfly Holiday Promotion post on October 17th.

I ordered my free cards on October 21st. When I did so, I was charged shipping at checkout. At the time, I assumed I'd misunderstood, and that the original offer was for merchandise only, not shipping--so I used my Visa to charge the shipping and tax ($8.56 total).

Almost immediately after I placed my order, I received another e-mail from Shutterfly, which provided a free shipping promo code to use for my free card order. Except I'd already made my order. And paid the shipping. And I'd certainly waited the "48-72 hours"....after what? The message didn't say. After my blog post? After some unknown event? I don't know, but since I had waited several days to do anything, I should have received free shipping WHEN I ORDERED MY CARDS.

I was not concerned, because of COURSE I assumed that Shutterfly, being a huge, well-known corporation to whom $7.99 or $8.56 or whatever would surely be peanuts--less than peanuts, actually, more like peanut shell scraps--would apologize for the confusion and refund the shipping charge to my Visa card. You know, since I endorsed their company 100% in my blog post, and since they had told me I would get free shipping, and since their instructions were confusing, and since I'd waited 48-72 hours to do anything.

I sent a polite, cheerful e-mail to the original blog outreach contact person explaining the situation and requesting help in fixing the problem. And last night I received a reply from Shutterfly Blog Outreach (no longer the specific person, Stuart Leung, from whom all previous correspondence had originated, and to whom I'd appealed for assistance), which said:

"Hi, Shannon. Our apologies, but we're unable to credit back the shipping on your order."

Whaaaaa....?

Seriously, Shutterfly? You're "unable." Really?

Shutterfly is unable to refund a $7.99 shipping charge to my credit card. Really. Hmmmm. Let's think on that a moment. Why would they be "unable"? Has their entire computer system just exploded, eliminating all financial transaction abilities? Did Shutterfly go bankrupt and shut down between October 21st and yesterday? Does no one there have any fingers anymore, so no one can type into their computer system a command to refund my shipping? Do they not have my credit card info? Has our national currency system died out?

Sorry, I don't mean to be sarcastic. Well, actually I do, because that reply was about the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. I guess Shutterfly feels that, since I didn't pay for those cards with my own money (I "just" provided them with glowing publicity), they don't need to do the right thing by me.

Don't ask me why Shutterfly cares about some tiny sum like $7.99. It makes no sense whatsoever. But this is what I now say about Shutterfly: Be warned if you use them; they are not in the business of treating customers well. If I were you, I'd go over to Snapfish from now on.

Home Poem

2011-10-26T05:47:00.004-05:00

Genevieve started bringing home kindergarten homework this week. It's the school-wide reading program, "Book-in-a-Bag." The children take home a book picked for their reading ability every day, and are supposed to spend ten minutes or so reading it aloud to a parent each night. The parent signs off on a record sheet for each day, and the child brings it back to school the next morning and gets a new book (or continues on with the same book, if it's a chapter book). Actually, in kindergarten, kids usually start with super-simple picture books with a few words on each page, and the parent reads first, pointing at each word; then the child points while the parent reads; then the child reads (or tries to). I remember doing that with Julia during the fall of her kindergarten year. Those early "See Jane run" type of books are Level 1 or 2, if I remember correctly, and are where most kindergartners begin.

Genevieve's Book-in-a-Bag is a Level 18 short chapter book. She can read it fluently and it's not a challenge at all. Truth be told, I pretty much ignore her while I make dinner and go through school bags. We both know I hear her read a whole lot more--and a lot harder--than that every day, just during her normal at-home life.

There's also a "Home Poem" the kids are supposed to read each day. This week's poem is "Jack Be Nimble." You know: "Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack jump over the candlestick." After they read it, they are meant to do a brief "activity" that goes along with the poem. This may be pointing at the words as an adult reads them, or focusing on learning to read particular words, or something similar. The first time I read those instructions aloud, Genevieve and I just looked at each other and laughed.

We currently skip the Home Poem.

Oh my goodness.

Rot Your Teeth Out. Go On. Do It.

2011-10-25T10:05:00.002-05:00

I just made Candy Corn Fudge with Genevieve for two gatherings later this week. (Note: the magazine photo's fudge is way prettier than mine. They put less candy corn on the top, so more white chocolate showed through. I followed the recipe measurements, people!)

It makes an 8 x 8 pan which is supposed to result in 64 servings. Although I think I may need some sort of special tool to cut pieces that small, now that I've made the recipe I can see why. It involves two cups of powdered sugar and three cups of white chocolate chips, for one thing. (Among other ingredients.) And one cup of candy corn on the top.

Never fear; there are also pretzels, dried cranberries, and cream cheese in there too. Grains, fruit, and dairy! You're good!

Are You a Fit Mom?

2011-10-24T05:54:00.004-05:00

"Exercising" with an eight-month-old and an almost-three-year-old, 2007

Happy Monday morning, all. Need any reminders about why exercise is important for busy moms? Read my new piece published at It's All About Women today, here.

BlogHer Asks: How Do You Start Your Day Off Right?

2011-10-22T12:04:00.006-05:00

I have this cherished recurring fantasy about mornings. It's kind of on par with my longstanding big-gorgeous-country-house fantasy, in the sense that it too stems from glossy magazine features about make-believe (or at least unknown to me) families who inhabit houses and lifestyles that make me drool: perfectly, prettily casual and relaxed, with plenty of space and light and expensive coffeemakers and granite-topped islands and children in barefeet looking sweet and never cranky, and everyone lounging around in the spacious kitchen drinking espresso and making pancakes on a weekend morning and looking very, very happy.

In reality, mornings in my household involve children arising before the break of dawn and calling for milk and toast when the clock has yet to strike six a.m., and then after that, plenty of arguing and crying while I try to revive my brain with as much strong coffee as possible. So that's nice.

Fortunately, I've discovered a way to make my mornings start a bit more pleasantly, and not long ago, BlogHer invited me to join the BlogHer Life Well Lived Panel and answer the question, "What do you do to get your day going on an upbeat, positive note?" for their BlogHer feature on bloggers' tips for happiness.

That's where I shared that my go-to strategy is to get up an hour before everyone else, so I can at least brush my teeth and make my coffee and check my e-mail before the troops wake up and start calling my name. Yes, that means I arise at five a.m., when the world is dark. But that dose of time by myself (which, in practice, never ends up being a full hour) means that my day begins more positively, because I've attended to my most basic needs before I must attend to those of others.

So, what's your strategy? Do you have any awesome morning tricks? How do you get your day going on a positive, happy note? BlogHer wants to know, and so do I! You can share your answer in the comments of this post, and read others' ideas, too.

Of course, life is about more than just happy mornings, and BlogHer is also holding a Life Well Lived Moments Sweepstakes right now too. It's so easy: Just share what kind of little life moment makes you the happiest -- a simple pleasure, so to speak -- and get a chance to win $250! I've already entered, and so should you! Wouldn't $250 make your Life a little more Well Lived? You know it would.

So tell me: How do you up your daily happiness quotient?

Second Day of School Break

2011-10-21T13:10:00.004-05:00

On day two of school vacation, we have finished icing and decorating all the rest of the sugar cookies from yesterday. Then we delivered plates of them to some of our other friends and neighbors. What do you think of those little ghosts? Pretty cute, right?

Shutterfly Holiday Card Giveaway Winners

2011-10-21T06:55:00.003-05:00

It's time to announce my first giveaway winners! I'm so excited. Your names were drawn randomly out of a bowl, by my daughters, who had their eyes closed and took their job very seriously.

The three winners of 25 free holiday cards each from Shutterfly are:

Anonymous (2nd comment -- are you a friend of mine?)
AZPartyMamma
my sister, Heidi Mann (just lucky, no favoritism involved, we swear)

Hey, you three: e-mail me at shannon@tassava.com and I'll send you your promo code to type into Shutterfly when you check out to pay for your cards. I don't have any further instructions other than your promo codes, so be sure to just follow all website instructions for your order and look for the Promo Code box at check-out.

Congrats! And thanks for reading and commenting.

Halloween Cookie-Decorating Party

2011-10-20T19:12:00.006-05:00

There were guests, too. But I didn't get their moms' permission to post their photos on my blog. The kids are on school break so it's the perfect time to make some fun childhood memories.

Enough About my Assets

2011-10-20T06:40:00.003-05:00

Well, were you wondering about the state of my behind? Sadly, I am currently limping around like an old lady. But that's only because after a cortisone injection in your hip (maybe anywhere, I don't know), you typically feel worse for a few days before it starts to feel better. So I'm not concerned. I will say this: I'm not a big fan of cortisone injections in my "assets," as my across-the-street neighbor says. First of all, I had to get two injections, and because one of them involved an ultrasound to figure out exactly where to place it, the procedure wasn't exactly quick, and it involved extra people in the room. One of the people was the ultrasound tech who did my daughter's kidney ultrasound the morning before. She was like, "Huh? What's up in your family??" Actually the other two people were the least of my concerns, since they were both women and besides the nice ultrasound tech, the other was my doctor's very sweet and solicitous grandma-age nurse. Love her.

OK, this is way more than I wanted to talk about my cortisone injections. You may not believe me, but I do not enjoy talking about my rear, nor anywhere surrounding it. Let's just say this: it could have been worse, but it was fairly horrifying. And let's also say this: that thing better work.

Now that yesterday is over, my daughters are on school vacation for the rest of the week. We are hosting a small Halloween cookie-decorating party at our house today for a couple of my friends and their children. Julia and Genevieve and I need to make and roll out/cut out the cookies this morning so they'll be ready to ice and decorate this afternoon. With seven little girls between the ages of 1-1/2 and 7 years old at the party later, there is likely to be much hilarity, mess, and sugar consumption. Just as it should be for Halloween.

Oh, and in case you're wondering how late my daughters slept today, since it's no school and all? That would be 5:45 a.m. Mmmm-hmmm.

[Have you entered my giveaway for 25 free Shutterfly holiday photo cards yet? This is your last day to leave a comment to enter! Your odds are really good, have you noticed? Do it! I'll draw three winners randomly on Friday and announce it here. You'll need to e-mail me if you win, so be sure and check back to see if your comment was picked!]

Fun House

2011-10-19T05:43:00.003-05:00

In case you were wondering what else I am doing this week other than planning my holiday cards (and you should, too! have you entered??), well, today I am getting a poke in my rear. Two pokes, actually. Yes, today's the day I get to have a cortisone injection for my persistent running injury. In fact, it is the first thing I am doing today. I get to expose my bum to a handsome doctor at 7:45 in the morning. I can hardly wait! It's going to be so fun! And then later today I get to have my eyes dilated! More intense fun! And this is a day after I had to take Genevieve for a kidney ultrasound (she's fine). And remember how all my hair is falling out (again)? Today when I combed my hair wrong I actually spied a bald spot. Always fun! Seriously, the level of fun is overwhelming. I don't think I can take this much fun in one week.

In other news I also went to parent-teacher conferences where I found out that my children are so advanced in their academic skills that they're basically beyond testability. Like, the scale doesn't go that high for kindergarten and 2nd grade. I don't remember all the details. Something about the challenge of finding books hard enough for my daughters to read that are still age-appropriate, and something about a life ahead during which I will wonder daily if I should be homeschooling and then want to procure a strong cocktail and cry at the thought of homeschooling. OK, I made that last part up. But when you can easily read at level 34 in your kindergarten room, which is the highest the numbers go, and everyone else is reading at, like, a level 2 or 3, well...you might have a difficult time being appropriately challenged at school.

In other words, my children are doing awesome at school.

Now if you will excuse me, I need to go prepare myself for the oodles and oodles of fun.

Shutterfly Knows Holidays

2011-10-17T09:40:00.008-05:00

Over the weekend I got out the hats and mittens for the first time. No, it hasn't snowed here yet, but it's that time of year when it can be warm enough for sandals one day and then drop 40 degrees the next. It's good to be prepared.

That's my philosophy when it comes to holiday cards too. Oh, sure, I know you're in the middle of decorating your front stoop with pumpkins and planning Halloween costumes, but it's never too early to get organized for that moment in December when you receive your first holiday card in the mail and realize that you too should be sending out your Christmas greetings.

I'm a devoted Shutterfly fan and have used them for our family's holiday cards for years; their holiday photo card selection cannot be beat and the end results are always beautiful. You can spend a LOT of time perusing your choices, which run the style gamut from classic to contemporary and more, and playing around with how your family photos would look in various designs. Personally, I love the retro-whimsical style of this design, called the "Peppermint Joy Wreath":

But you really can't go wrong with the classic look of something like this ("Sprinkle of Snowflakes"), which comes in a cool square format:

Or how about showing off your little sugarplum(s) in something like this design ("Sweet Gingerbread Men")?

Or wait! How cute is this, the "Dear Santa" Christmas card?! Love.

As you can see, I could go on and on. And while I evidently lean toward non-traditional colors, Shutterfly has plenty of red- and green-themed holiday cards too. In fact, with hundreds and hundreds of styles, you'll be sure to find one that's perfect for you.

Shutterfly has hooked me up with 50 free holiday cards as part of their 2011 Holiday Promotion (thanks, Shutterfly!), but you can join the fun too. Shutterfly has offered me three extra promotion codes for 25 free holiday cards each, to give away to three lucky readers. If you'd like to win 25 free cards from Shutterfly--and really, who wouldn't?--leave a comment here by Thursday, October 20th, at midnight CST, and I'll randomly pick three winners and announce them on Friday, October 21st.

There's more! Are you a blogger? Want a chance at 25 free cards this holiday season? Register here: http://goo.gl/DDw7Q.

Awesome! Now you can feel all smug and organized. Happy (early) Holidays!

Scenes From the Weekend

2011-10-17T04:53:00.000-05:00

heirloom tomato gratin

This weekend I:

Made this incredible recipe from Woman's Day magazine. (See above.) Words cannot describe the amazing deliciousness. Trust me.

Downloaded this MP3 to put on my running iPod. Sue me. It's super sweet and catchy and puts a spring in my step. Yes, I did just say "puts a spring in my step."

Watched this half-marathon, and failed miserably at catching my husband on camera or even noticing him soon enough to cheer as he went by, because the girls and I had already been standing in the freezing wind watching for him for an hour and thus had race-watching-fatigue, and also because he was wearing a red shirt whereas when he left our house earlier that morning he was wearing a white shirt, thus we were watching for a white shirt. Uh....sorry, babe? it was hilarious?

Went to this town for some autumn family fun.

Discovered this recipe and decided that life cannot go on unless I make it.

Planned a kid Halloween cookie-decorating party using this adorable online-invitations website.

Ruminated a little more on getting an injection in my backside this week.

Finished watching Season Two of "Friday Night Lights" with my husband, whom after 5+ years I have fully and successfully indoctrinated into the Friday Night Lights Obsessive Fan Club, and who now admits he should have been watching this fantastic show all along, for the five years it was actually on TV. To this I say, NO KIDDING. And then I roll my eyes.

Was awakened at roughly 5:30 a.m. each morning, because I have children, and my children do not believe in sleeping in on weekends. And my definition of "sleeping in" is currently "past 6 a.m.," so really, I'm not setting the bar all that high.

How was your weekend?

Simple and Delicious Family Cooking: Whole-Wheat Pumpkin Banana Bread

2011-10-13T04:58:00.002-05:00

I created a delicious autumn recipe yesterday, combining my love for all things pumpkin with some overripe bananas I needed to use up. The result is a moist, whole-wheat, low-sugar, nutrient-packed pumpkin banana loaf suitable for breakfast, lunchbox treats, after-school snack, or even as an accompaniment to a bowl of soup or chili for a belly-warming fall supper. My daughters loved it, and didn't even care that they were consuming loads of vitamin A and beta carotene. Neither will yours. Enjoy!

Whole-Wheat Pumpkin Banana Bread
makes 1 loaf

Ingredients

2 cups whole-wheat flour
1 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. cinnamon
1/2 tsp. ground ginger
1/2 tsp. ground nutmeg
2 large eggs, beaten
1/2 cup canola oil
1/2 cup white sugar
roughly 1 cup pumpkin puree (not pumpkin pie filling)
1 large or 2 small very ripe bananas, mashed
1 tsp. vanilla
3 T. milk

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease* a loaf pan (my pan is labeled "large" on the bottom; a standard-sized loaf pan would work fine, I'm sure).

Combine flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt, cinnamon, ginger, and nutmeg in a large bowl. In a separate bowl, combine eggs, oil, sugar, pumpkin, banana, vanilla, and milk. Pour dry ingredients into wet ingredients; stir until incorporated but don't over-mix the batter.

Pour into greased loaf pan and bake for about 60 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the middle comes out clean or with just a few crumbs, and the top is golden brown. (Check the bread at 30 or 45 minutes, and if the bread is browning too quickly, lay a sheet of foil over the top of the pan for the remainder of the baking time.) Leave in the pan for about 10 minutes, then remove from pan and let cool on a wire rack before slicing.

*I have recently become enamored with Pam nonstick baking spray. It is made with flour (wha...?) and smells like cake mix, and it comes out of the can with some crazy velocity and kind of sprays all over the place, but boy does it do the trick, much better than regular nonstick cooking spray. Try it!

Literally, a Pain in the ***.

2011-10-11T05:53:00.005-05:00

In southern Minnesota, where I live, we have been having summer-like weather for a week and a half. Seriously, until yesterday it had been sunny and in the 80s for something like 9 or 10 days straight. And then yesterday was cloudy and 75. Which isn't bad for October.

We have been doing things like wearing sundresses and running through the sprinkler. In October. The girls come home from school in the afternoons with their jackets stuffed into their backpacks, their cheeks rosy red. I've been going running (uh, running/walking? hobbling? trying to run? running a little bit?) as often as possible despite my nagging injury, because come on--sunny and 80 degrees? In October? There have been years I've been in gloves by this time.

I could not feel more grateful for this lucky string of extra summer. Winter is hard on me. I don't remember it bothering me this much when I was younger, but in the past few years, the cold and dark days of late autumn and winter have really done a number on my brain. I start to feel a sickening dread round about now, and it doesn't really go away until spring--which last year didn't start until May. Even this year, with all this extra sunshine and warmth, my brain knows that it's only daylight until 7 p.m. or so, and that's if you count the fading light of dusk. My brain can tell that the angle of the sunlight is different; the sun isn't as strong. I know I should order the lightbox that my nurse practitioner and my psychologist best friend have recommended since last spring (my NP made me promise, back then, that I'd start using one by August, because that's how early the sun starts to change--crazy, right?), but Christopher and I both lost our part-time jobs this fall, and lightboxes are expensive. And I have a lovely backlog of medical bills piling up at the hospital across town for a summer's worth of physical therapy and MRIs.

Having said all that, I think I had better get my hands on a lightbox fairly soon, because I will surely need something mood-altering next week, when I will be getting a cortisone injection in my injured hip and inflamed glute muscle. Because that will involve my handsome and charming (male) sports medicine doctor--the one who was the team doc for the U.S. 2010 Winter Olympics, and who therefore has no doubt seen his share of perfect, uh, glutes--stick me with a needle in my bare behind. Which will definitely alter my mood. But not in the direction needed. Because "mortified" isn't quite the mood I'm going for.

Simple and Delicious Family Cooking: Pumpkin Muffins

2011-10-10T05:08:00.003-05:00

It's time for pumpkin muffins!

No, not this kind of pumpkin.

although isn't he cute?

This kind!

frozen organic pumpkin puree

As you can see, I use fresh pumpkin, because I belong to a CSA farm and we get pie pumpkins as part of our farm-share. You bake a pie pumpkin just like any other squash, and scoop out the soft insides (minus seeds and strings), mash up a little bit, and use right away or freeze in 1- to 2-cup portions to use as needed throughout the fall. But you can use a can of pure pumpkin puree from the store if you want.

Pumpkin Muffins
makes 12

Ingredients:

1 cup all-purpose flour
1 cup whole-wheat flour
1 T. baking powder
1/2 tsp. salt
2 tsp. cinnamon
1/2 tsp. ground ginger
1/2 tsp. ground nutmeg
1/4 tsp. ground cloves
1 large egg
1/2 cup packed light brown sugar
1 cup fresh or canned pumpkin puree
1/2 cup vegetable/canola oil
1/2 cup milk

0ptional--add 1/2 cup of any of the following:
raisins
chopped walnuts
shredded coconut
dried cranberries
mini chocolate chips
(Note: You don't need any of those. The muffins are absolutely delicious as just plain pumpkin, which is how I made them yesterday. But sometimes you might want to jazz them up a little.)

Preheat your oven to 400 degrees. Grease a 12-well muffin tin or line with cupcake papers.

In a large bowl, combine the white flour, wheat flour, baking powder, salt, cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg, and cloves.

In a separate bowl, beat the egg. Add brown sugar and mix well. Add pumpkin, oil, and milk, and combine well.

Pour wet ingredients into dry ingredients and mix until combined but not over-mixed. Add any optional ingredients you like. Bake muffins for 15 minutes or until a toothpick inserted into the center of a muffin comes out clean. Do not overbake! Let sit for a minute or two before removing muffins from pan. Transfer to a wire rack and let cool completely before you store them in a well-sealed container or in the freezer.

My Surprise Box from iHerb

2011-10-07T07:42:00.003-05:00

Remember when the nice folks at iHerb.com e-mailed me to say they were sending me some free products to thank me for the nice endorsement I gave them when I wrote about Dandy Blend?

My box arrived in the mail yesterday.

In the mix: CocoCardio dietary supplement (it's made with organic cocoa, beet juice extract, and hibiscus extract, and you mix it with water to make a beverage; it looks to be an antioxidant supplement for heart health and good cholesterol); St. Dalfour organic green tea; a single serving tube of sugar-free, high-vitamin, berry-flavored instant tea; a single serving packet of CafeCeps instant organic coffee blend with special mushroom extracts (?!) for fighting fatigue and promoting high energy; and Desert Essence Lip Rescue Ultra Hydrating lip balm.

Thanks again, iHerb! I'm looking forward to trying out these products! (Well, not so sure about the mushrooms in the instant coffee...)

Free Time is Expensive.

2011-10-06T08:26:00.004-05:00

Autumn in a bowl.

Ha ha ha ha, I like how the second I say "OMG I have so much free time,"* I immediately have too much to do and can't remember why I ever said I had any free time. And by "like," I mean "hate."

Seriously, doesn't this kind of thing happen to you all the time? You get super excited and one morning you crow, "OMG the baby is sleeping through the night!" and IMMEDIATELY, AS IN THAT VERY NIGHT, the baby wakes up five times between 10 p.m. and dawn. Or, you're like, "Wow, my part-time freelance job is going so well that I think I can actually start sending more then ten cents per month to my student loan** company!" and then within days your freelance job has mysteriously evaporated without so much as a warning.

So what am I busy with now? Well, I have my book manuscript back, for one thing, with more things to work on there. And, because I just spent the last of my freelance money to pay a doctor bill and get my hair done because God knows if you're going to be broke and busy, you at least deserve to look pretty, I'm also spending a lot of time searching for a new part-time job. Let me tell you, part-time freelance work-from-home jobs that pay more than $2.50 per 400-word written article are not that easy to come by.

Lastly, by the end of this week I will have been to three doctors in three days, which takes time. Time that would otherwise be free.

That's all right, though; I'd rather be busy than a number of alternatives. After all, being busy means you have a lot going on in your life, which by definition means you have a lot in your life. You know what I mean?

Carry on, busy moms! You're in good company.

*Translation: "so much free time," to a mom, means anything more than five minutes. **No, I'm not 25. I'm FORTY, YOU ALL, and I still have student loan debt! Big student load debt. Ha ha, so funny.*** That's what you get when you go to school until you're 29 to get a Ph.D. in a low-paying profession. ***And by "funny," I mean horrifying.

Update

2011-10-05T05:25:00.002-05:00

Don't get too jealous of all my free time, you all. An hour after Genevieve left on the afternoon kindergarten bus yesterday, new book edits came in for me to do. I have a feeling that's more how things are going to go. I'm not complaining; I'm thrilled to be working on my book. But it is true that, should I get an occasional free hour while both girls are in school this autumn, I'd better savor every minute, because most likely before I know it I'll have a new freelance job, a book to promote, a next book to write, and my coaching practice to launch.

In other words, I should have watched The Doctors while I could. Like, on Monday.

Maybe I'll Grow to Like Being Broke.

2011-10-04T08:18:00.003-05:00

I have been laid off (temporarily, I hope, but who knows?) from my part-time freelance writing job for over two weeks now. Prior to that, I had been working at least 15 hours a week from home, writing health and nutrition articles for Livestrong.com. All of a sudden I'm not working 15 hours a week. In addition, my (final?!) book manuscript is with my editor, and school volunteering has not yet begun.

People, I am B-R-O-K-E, but OMG the free time! It is a revelation. I have not had measurable "free" time in...well, let's just say almost 7-1/2 years. Before my part-time job, I had a child at home with me at all times and/or was writing a book. Once both children had at least some school, I was working. Now both children are in school daily -- albeit only three hours for Genevieve -- and right now I have no part-time job.

OMG.

Don't get me wrong, I'd rather have money than free time, if only to fulfill basic adult responsibilities like, you know, paying the doctor bills and feeding my kids, but seriously, it is a shame that as soon as both kids are in school many stay-at-home moms resume working (at least somewhat) at another job. Because ladies, if you've been a full-time stay-at-home mom for some 7-1/2 years, YOU DESERVE SOME FREE TIME! This is your first opportunity to use the bathroom alone and actually sit down to drink a cup of coffee. You can return phone calls without a child shouting, "Mama, look at me! Mama, look at me! Mama, look at me!" for the duration of your conversation. You can go to the supermarket alone. On a regular basis.

I know that, as a stay-at-home mom, there's always work to do, even when the children aren't around. It's not like anyone's sitting around eating bonbons and watching The Doctors on daytime TV. But maybe they should be. At least a little bit.

Holiday Whimsy, Only $2.50

2011-10-03T11:10:00.006-05:00

I found this candy dish in the dollar section at Target on Saturday. If you could resist spending only $2.50 (what up, Target? that's not a dollar!) on this, you have no sense of holiday whimsy.

OK I totally came back here and took a new photo
that had the dish more properly centered.

The bottom of the dish says "Boo!"

Adorable.

Maybe iHerb Has an Herb for Hair.

2011-10-03T05:40:00.004-05:00

Remember my Mama Essentials post on Dandy Blend? I order it from iHerb.com, and the folks there saw my post. Their social media person, Abby, e-mailed me the other day to say that, to thank me for my recommendation, iHerb.com is sending me a package of a few free products. So nice, right? I can't wait to see what Abby picked out for me. Seriously, people, this was a very nice and much needed bright spot in a week that involved personal illness, child illness (missing two days of school), the stress of being on call for jury duty, continued hip/glute pain from my running injury (over five months now, if you're counting), losing my much-relied-upon part-time writing job and therefore a large chunk of income, and realizing that half my hair has fallen out. Dang, you all. Tough times.

Thank you, iHerb! I needed that little spot of happy in my week. I'll post more when I get my box and see what's inside.

I Need to Keep My Hair Long Enough to Get My Professional Head Shots Taken

2011-09-30T05:46:00.003-05:00

One my favorite mispronunciations by my kindergartner Genevieve is the way she calls my daily to-do list my "today list." Yesterday she thought the printout of my book manuscript--some 200 pages or so--was my "today list."

"Mama, is that your today list?" Yes, honey. Yes it is. Or it certainly feels like it.

Actually, my "today list" has been shorter than usual this week, because my freelance job is on an unexpected hiatus. About ten days ago, the assignment list disappeared and therefore so did my income. Since then, there has been occasional word that work will re-appear at some point, but in the meantime I am broke, beset by doctor bills, and FREAKING OUT. And it's not like there's a plethora of other jobs just waiting around to be filled, you know? Gah. (If you know of anyone who needs a writer, e-mail me. Shannon@Tassava.com. That's pronounced TASS-uh-vuh. Thank you.)

So, let's take stock of the rest of the week, shall we? I successfully finished jury duty without being called in a second time. Also, my book manuscript entered its final stages of editing before proofing and designing. (Woot!) Julia got sick and missed her first day of school, which was torturous for all involved. (Still undecided as to whether she'll be home from school again today. Dear God, no.) My running injury left, and then returned. Left again, and returned. I'm clearly either going to have to quit running altogether for, like, six more months and hope that will finally clear it up for good or just say to hell with it and run despite the injury and live with the residual pain. Because obviously nothing else is working with any kind of consistency. And not running has caused me to gain five or six pounds recently, which is what happens to me when I don't run much but continue to, you know, EAT.

And lastly, once again--I guess because it is autumn--I am LOSING ALL MY HAIR. I swear there is something seasonal about this. My hair seems to fall out every fall. This time it's more alarming than usual. As in, I'm seriously worried about baldness. I'm not kidding or exaggerating; you really can see my scalp in places if I pull my hair back the wrong way. As you may remember, last autumn I cured my hair loss with supplemental protein--I'm sure of this--but this year that can't be it. I'm still consuming my protein powder every day, and my diet is full of fresh organic produce from our CSA farm, so I know I'm getting plenty of nutrients. Thus, as an explanation for my hair loss, we are left with a.) stress or b.) unknown mystery ailment. Let me tell you, one is not any better than the other.

On the plus side, I just made homemade applesauce (OMG so good), I have a book coming out soon, and last week I had my brows and lashes tinted by the best aesthetician you can imagine, at a salon in my town that I'd never visited before--and now I am in love with getting my brows and lashes done by this aesthetician at the salon in my town. Remember that I am losing all my hair. I need all the help I can get, people. I plan to get on her monthly schedule. I will find the cash somewhere.

And now I am off to tackle my "today list." Send any hair-loss tips and cures my way.

Mama Essentials, Bonus Part 5

2011-09-29T05:44:00.002-05:00

Apparently I should make this Mama Essentials series an ongoing, open-ended one. I keep remembering products I want to tell you about. (Note: I am not being compensated by Johnson & Johnson for this post.)

Today's Mama Essential is Johnson & Johnson Baby Oil Gel. (FYI, I use the aloe vera and vitamin E formula pictured above, not the original version pictured in the product link, though I'm sure they're similar.) I adore everything about this product. First, the packaging is great. The shape of the bottle is a perfect fit for hands and even though it's designed to stand upside down, it doesn't leak all over your bathroom cabinet.

What do I use baby oil gel for? Well, not for any babies. I like this for removing stubborn eye makeup (particularly waterproof mascara) and for moisturizing feet, elbows, and cuticles.

I also dab a bit around my eyes before bed as a super-intense eye "cream." Yes, it's greasy and oily, but I don't need any more crow's feet than I already have, do you? Applying this under and around my eyes and letting it absorb as I sleep makes my delicate skin feel plumped up and healthier the next day, especially as the drying autumn winds start to blow.

Lastly, because my hair is of the super-dry, extremely fragile, easily damaged variety, I have even massaged a drop of this uber-moisturizer into my parched ends to smooth frizzy strands and add a touch of shine. (Warning: anything more than a drop is likely to be too oily; in addition, stick to ends only, and only if your hair is dry. Otherwise you're likely to end up more greasy than glossy.)

There you have it: my latest Mama Essential. Go forth and moisturize.

The Best Parent TV Ever.

2011-09-28T07:55:00.003-05:00

I tend to get a little obsessive about TV. I mean, objectively, I don't watch that much TV. We don't even have cable anymore. I admit I like to turn it on after my daughters are in bed as background noise/company while I do my boring freelance work, so you'd be excused for thinking I watch a lot of TV, but in all honesty, there are only a few television shows I truly care about. When I find one, I tend to become addicted to it and talk about it a lot. (See: "So You Think You Can Dance"; "Glee"; "Friday Night Lights".) Then I try to convince everyone I know to watch it.

So, have you seen this new NBC comedy, "Up All Night"? It stars Christina Applegate and Will Arnett -- both of whom have recently become parents in real life, by the way, no small factor in this show's super-realistic feel -- as a thirtysomething married couple who have just had their first baby. In the interest of full disclosure, I will admit that I have yet to see an entire episode; it premiered two weeks ago and due to various other commitments I have only seen parts of each episode so far. However -- and this should say a lot considering that I haven't even seen a whole show yet -- each time I have caught a clip of it, I have literally laughed until I cried.

These two are FREAKING HILARIOUS. OMG! Who knew? Seriously, I had no idea Christina Applegate and Will Arnett were so funny and so likable. I adore them. They are like the parents you would be friends with if they were real people and lived in your town. And the show is so true-to-life it's as if they were filming my own household when my girls were babies. Well, with a few minor differences, since in "Up All Night," Will Arnett is the stay-at-home parent and Christina Applegate returns to work. But beyond that, I recognize pretty much every moment portrayed, and unlike real life, "Up All Night" makes each of those moments hilarious rather than hysterical. Because, let's face it, in real life when you have a newborn and aren't getting any sleep you tend to cry a lot more than you laugh.

Here's the show trailer. It's about four minutes long. Go ahead, you can spare four minutes for some good laughs.

Full episodes from the last two weeks are available on the NBC.com "Up All Night" website. It's only a half-hour show, so I know you can make the time commitment involved. "Up All Night" airs Wednesday nights (that's tonight, holla!) at 8 p.m., 7 p.m. Central.

Keeping Kids Busy

2011-09-27T12:32:00.000-05:00

Happy Tuesday, everyone! I've got a column up for the Tuesday Toddler Activity series over at The Education of a Stay at Home Mom. Thanks for the opportunity, Sarah! Sarah's got a wonderful site, so after you've read my guest post, you should really check out everything else she has to offer! Oh, and even if your child is beyond toddlerhood, I guarantee this fall activity will be both educational and fun.

Mothers Who Complain

2011-09-26T05:24:00.000-05:00

Every now and then, I get a nasty comment here about how I complain too much. On this blog. About my life, which is to say, about my life as a mom.

Few things enrage me more. These comments are always anonymous, but I am convinced that they are left by either a.) dads; or b.) childless people. In other words, people who don't know a thing about which they're speaking.

My friend and fellow contributor to Torn: True Stories of Kids, Career, & the Conflict of Modern Motherhood, writer Katy Read, tackles the issue of mother-complaining and the backlash against it in the new issue of Brain, Child. Her article is a thoughtful analysis of the shifts in mothering culture over the decades, past and current reactions to mothers' honesty (or dishonesty) about their lives as moms, and the amazing truth that motherhood can be both the best thing that's ever happened to you AND full of suckitude at the same time. (I know! Shocking.)

Excerpt:

"...If I were the conspiracy-theory type, I might imagine a sinister plot behind efforts to keep mothers from complaining. After all, mothers perform the lion’s share of unpaid housework and child care—and pay a steep economic price for doing so, on average making less money than fathers or childless people and suffering from a higher rate of poverty. What better way to keep mothers from rebelling against those circumstances than to discourage them from voicing any objections? It’s ingenious: convince women through cultural conditioning that mothers are blissfully content—or ought to be, anyway—and penalize those who contradict that image by lashing back with criticism dripping with contempt."

It's a must-read. Lucky for you, the entire thing is available online.

Everything Happens at Once, Have You Noticed?

2011-09-22T08:39:00.004-05:00

For any of you who didn't see the comments in my last post, I served on the jury for a personal injury trial that took 1-1/2 days and concluded late afternoon Tuesday. Since then, I have not been called in again, although I definitely could be, anytime this week or all of next. Just because you've served on one jury does not mean you are exempt from being called again during your two-week duty. The bailiffs said it happens all the time.

I really, really, really hope I do not get called in again, but in the end, I was glad to be a part of the case for which I was a juror. I feel like the system worked for the woman involved, and I was proud and relieved to be able to do right by her. And it was a very interesting and educational experience too. However, there's no doubt that jury duty was (and continues to be) significantly difficult for me, given my current circumstances. Everyone else on the jury either left an office for a couple of days -- with no negative consequences because of course you are legally required to serve on jury duty if you get called, and workplaces are required to allow you to do that -- or were retired and so had no schedule conflicts with work. I mean, I'm not saying no one else was inconvenienced, but at least they didn't have to stress about who would take care of their children while they were there. That worry can be very distracting when you're serving on a jury.

So, I'm glad I did it, but that doesn't mean I want to have to do it again.

The other two things that have swallowed me whole right now are: a.) the fact that I'm currently sick; and b.) the rewrites on my book are scheduled to be completed this week. Between those two things and jury duty, my week is a black hole. I'm barely keeping my head above water, and I've been largely out of contact with most everyone. Sorry, everyone!

Hopefully my life will return to normal soon, and I'll be back to more frequent (and more interesting) writing than this.

Civic Duty

2011-09-20T06:18:00.004-05:00

Of course I got impaneled on a jury! Of course I did. I can't tell you anything about the case, so you'll just have to use your imaginations. You can also imagine me freaking out about childcare, falling behind on work, and earning ten dollars per day for my service. As my friend Connie said, "You're finally getting paid to be a stay-at-home mom!" And as I said to her, "HA. HA."

By the way, the vast majority of my fellow jurors are retired. I think there is one other non-retired adult on the jury with me. He is not married and has no children. He works for his parents. In other words, no one there is stressed out about being there (or so it appears) except me. In fact, they seem to be having a lot of fun. I resent them.